antoine-source/egerie/en/textes.txt

*Amandine carried her load to the Golgotha ​​of the sixth. SOS Bon Samaritain was ringing busy and the Prizu bag took on cellulite with each step. Enough to shoot you this moron of popular common sense who would like the earth's attraction to diminish in proportion to the number of floors. Sometimes we would curse Newton.
*.
*Amandine's neighbor was a sort of woodland woman, just trimmed from the cave age. But discreet, she rarely showed the end of her nose.
*The women's press was an antithesis of reality. The grayer the curves of the trade deficit, the more well-being the cover-hats radiated. The glossy smelled of love, happiness, hairspray and pearly pink blush.
*The cat was sleeping, curled up, a smirk of bliss riveted on its face. At times his tail would seize sudden convulsions and seem to return to the wild. What could this stupid mammal be dreaming of?
*Amandine turned on the TV. A strange device in Formica, the recovered Albanian genre that it was better to set in motion at 4 p.m. to hope to obtain the evening newspaper.
*Amandine grabbed the cat by the skin of the neck. The animal - yet prowled in these hasty ways - would have its near end, no doubt a reminiscence of a previous life when it was a breeding rabbit or a political prisoner in Turkey."You're going to nab a mega-surplus of carbohydrates! There's no point in balancing your diet if you don't put some of yours in! Come on, we're going to oxygenate your mustaches."
*Amandine decided to crush a little. Nothing like a snore to restore your health. She bundled up in nice sheets and let her subconscious pack up.
*The pile of laundry was competing with the Anapurna. This scorned population - stuck in agony, subtle 'alluring mortified - united as one man to implore his dose of enzymes."We'll have to go to the Lavotronic again" she said to the cat, who didn't care.
*Amandine took hold of the espagnette and her courage with both hands. She weighed the gutter that hugged the facade of the building, doing it, here and there, a few creaking infidelities. Her ballerinas, who had nevertheless walked all the slopes of the Palace at the Balajo, slipped on the wet sheet of the Parisian roof.
*.
*"Drugs are the scourge of modern times! It enriches foreign powers, it spreads AIDS if the syringe is used without a condom, it ruins social security!"
*"Drugs are expensive! In a shoot, online or as a joint, laundry is the new US trip, trendy and e-co-nomic! For all budgets, for all audiences! Drugged friends, die white, not ruined Next time, say yes to the laundry!"
*All those Japanese gadgets, it was like a computer at home: zozo catcher. Sensitive to pressure drops in data corrected for seasonal variations, the TV zapped by itself. Once, she had engaged in a Vietnamese pirate program superimposed on RTBF. The Communist repairman had moreover fully appreciated the objectivity of the cathode ray tube.
*.
*The antenna seemed to date back to a time when TV had not yet seen the light of day. Amandine seized the machine and directed it towards the Eiffel Tower, with the curious feeling of desecrating a Carolingian relic.
*Amandine had forgotten her lining in the locker room. She stumbled and already saw herself reciting three pater noster during her fall. The people would have found the still warm body of a young redhead, lying on the pavement of the Butte, thinking that it was very unfortunate to die at that age. We would have spoken about this female dog of life while the cat would have howled at death to claim his fat.
*Amandine wanted to return to the mainland of her studio and sent a toe in recognition. The gutter was holding on. Like what, the US material...
*.
*The handset stuck in the shoulder, Amandine looked at her notebook, sticking out her tongue. She reviewed mother, exes and old girlfriends before coming across the number of her jules of the moment, nestled among the poison centers, duly listed since the cat had swallowed the wild freshness deodorant bomb. Mario: 49 84 25.
*-Hello Mario, love is calling!
*-No? You mean you're fucking your mom tonight?
*-And in addition I'm hungry like an unemployed person at the end of my rights, take advantage...
*"The chain of Happiness, good evening". You could feel that the quickdraw was running out of steam from the morning drawstring to the misshapen resignation of the setting sun. A compendium of existence in eight hours flat. Subway, overused hello, evening turnip on TV. The phone's dildo would put the cover back the next morning, time to afford a smile that escaped during the night."Very well Miss, the whole B comme Bonheur team is counting on your presence!"
*"And shit. Nobody."
*.
*A smiling and feminine object soon invades the screen. 625 lines of joie de vivre."You want to participate in our great game" Bliss for Happiness"and leave with a wonderful trip? Call 40 23 08 now!".
*Enough modern communication for today. Amandine cut the whistle on the TV, which nodded (usually it only squeaked). What if this is the end? A morbid foreboding suddenly gripped his jawbones, a bit like when one worriedly lets a trembling grandmother fall asleep.
*.
*-Hello?
*-Amandine is that you? What do you become?
*-Amandine Palmer, hello!
*-Is that you Mom?
*.
*-But yes Mom, it's me! Who else do you want it to be?
*-Ah you never know! May I remind you that sometimes it's a male voice that answers for you...
*-But yes, he's a friend.
*- I suspect that she is not a friend, even now. And what's the name of your... your boyfriend?
*-Mario.
*-There are not enough good boys in France for you? Now you are going to look for them abroad!
*-Foreigner? I remind you that Papa was Canadian and that in addition you never wanted to remarry.
*-Just, if your father was still there to see you, he would turn around in his grave to die of grief!
*-Well, I'm leaving you, Rachid and Mamadou are going to get impatient.
*.
*.
*-Amandine, you are unconscious!
*-Well what?
*-I haven't heard from you for almost two weeks! So like that, I don't count, the world may well collapse, we don't take a minute to reassure our old mother!
*-Come on mom, don't take away the urge to reproduce.
*-Don't say rudeness in front of me, will you? I know that times have changed and that young people imagine that they no longer need their parents, but that's no reason not to watch your language! I believe I gave you a Catholic and decent education!
*-Especially Catholic.
*- Treat me as a Jewish mother while you're at it!
*-I wouldn't want to offend your religious convictions, see you later...
*.
*.
*.
*-We do the routine so-so...
*-Oh you brooding something for me! Are you eating well at least?
*-But Mom, if I listened to you I would stuff myself with Breton pancakes stamped 100% Finistère.
*-However, at your age, we have a good appetite! Instead, Mademoiselle goes to Japanese restaurants to eat live fish with yellow rice!
*-I experienced my withdrawal as well as your menopause! I do not want to resume the saddlebags after a whole growth simmered in fatty broth.
*-About cooking, young people today claim to no longer need their mother, yet I know one who does not need to be prayed for when there is rabbit with mustard at home!
*-Mom, you're not reasonable. Well I'm off, the cat must have finished roasting.
*.
*.
*-You were probably expecting someone else! Thanks for me!
*-Mom, don't start having a fit, I wasn't expecting anyone.
*-Lets go! A big girl like you, you still think of boys, don't you?
*-Who is that, me? No... Except that every time I go out, I start riots.
*-You would not think of making your life with a future deputy by chance? I can introduce you to a student of Harvard that you would like very much!
*-I prefer to judge on the piece. I never liked mail order sales.
*-He is the son of a friend who attends the same Scrabble club as me, he still has a little acne but you would gain a lot from knowing him!
*-Mum! Rather marry an existential software developer! Besides, I know one or two that I will present to you another day, ciao!
*.
*.
*Was it the sleep of the righteous? Amandine slept like a gun dog. She had a decided lethargy, fetal, but amiable and light, sometimes accompanied by a modulated snoring. An imperceptible soprano chant through a trumpet nose.
*.
*.
*.
*"The harvest will be good this year! What a healthy and rustic pleasure to find the taste of the real cat without coloring or preservatives, as our grandmothers knew how to prepare it so well, in the respect of a tradition lost in the night of the time!"
*"After all, babies are born well in cabbages!"
*Each cat was on point, full of ultraviolet rays, skin stretched, hair thick and shiny. When the southern zephir took a passing knock, they clashed softly, clinging fragile to their branch. Something other than these industrial cats for townspeople, these computerized and mummified cats in cellophane.
*.
*"Unhappy! They are not even ripe!"
*"A good fricassee of angoras! Here the good soup!"
*.
*"Amandine, you know very well that it is not in my habit to interfere in your personal affairs, you are a big girl now!"
*"I know a section manager in the Federal Register that you would like a lot! You could marry him, get MARRIED! How I would like to see you in a white dress before I die. You could do it for your old mother!"
*"Obviously, for you young people, that no longer means anything to marry in white, nor even to marry for that matter! But what did I do in the good Lord to have such a girl, I must to be a bad mother. Amandine you will make me die of grief!"
*.
*Curious as Amandine could feel tired after sleeping. As if the laundry could still be dirty after a machine or a lady still uneducated after having read Vanity Fair.
*-Darling, say kind words to me...
*- Uh... Out of the hundred beats of my heart, there are at least eighty just for you!
*.
*-Oh, honey...
*-Listen my little heart! I've already told you a thousand times not to call me sweetie. Let's get out of here.
*.
*-And then you smell like a minnestrone by the fire.
*- Are we going to your place or to my place?
*.
*-Amandine, you're going to laugh...
*-I am already holding my ribs.
*-I don't think this lousy mess doesn't accept VIP cards, and I just noticed that I don't have that much cash on me.
*-Death of laughter, I'm laughing...
*-It's stupid, because with the VIP card I have great advantages: for example I can easily pay for a real sealskin at Mr. Glîk, grocer-retailer in Reykjavik!
*-In the meantime, you can't snatch up at the Parisians! The last time you did it to me, the owner almost turned my cat into salami.
*.
*-You know that if I want I can pick up a brick at any bank in Johannesburg with my VIP card!
*-Do your best to find something if you don't want to become an economical refugee to remove a ton of dishes from the kitchens. I don't want to have to buy three hundred salami pizzas to make Humphrey back together!
*-All the greats of this world use the VIP card. Do you realize I'm the same as Reverend Jimmy Swaggart?
*-You just have to ask the Lord to settle the bill. I never want to see you again, neither in front of an ATM in Beirut nor elsewhere! I'm getting out, basta!
*-You want to lose my love to win two hundred bucks, it's petty!
*.
*-How Amandine? Can't you lend me two hundred bucks? I'll reimburse you for them, I promise.
*-This is the last time! Do you know how many cans of Whiskas are two hundred bucks?
*-Fifty, one hundred, two hundred... It's okay. Leave, leave, it's me who invites you!
*.
*"See you darling, it always seemed to me that youth was only a lure trapped in the constraint of time. What is the use of making his young age a quality, if not to depreciate himself by day? in days?"
*"On the other hand, if you immediately assume your status as an elderly person gifted with the experience of life, you will improve over time. Like this good wine, well! Well not like Beaujolais, but Mouton Rotschild, yes ."
*"Besides for the age it is quite simple, I spoke about it in my very last book which has just been published, all fresh from the printing press."
*"You wouldn't have liver pate to go with it?"
*.
*.
*It's true, Mario was doing a bit too much. With a flick on the hindquarters, he extracted a filter tip from his bundle of blondes. After having cut down some formalities (my rougnougnou to me, I take the bathroom first ?, you love me ?, I go there otherwise you stay three hours, liar it's you who shoots the hot water tank , you have cold feet, you love me say?), Mario turned his heels of poor lonesome lover and set off again on new adventures... To be followed.
*.
*-Aahhhhh... My rabbit, my menagerie, my peking duck...
*.
*-You're talking to me?
*-No, it's up to the cat.
*.
*-Ouch!
*-What? Are you running out of metaphors?
*-No, it's your elbow that's hurting me.
*.
*-Good, that's not the whole thing, I have to get up, Humphrey has to die, his stomach is crying out for famine, you hear?
*-Of course, you didn't want me to feed him last night!
*-I repeat that he digests spaghetti carbonara very badly, and in addition it is really bad for his cholesterol.
*-So quickly bring him his calorific pittance in 0% yogurt, otherwise he will die of starvation and you will be accused of not helping a hungry cat.
*-And for the breakfast that Monsieur will take before leaving, it will be rabbit bites or beef croquettes?
*.
*A few minutes later, Mario left the stage on tiptoe, not without having unleashed a chaste and ritual kiss at Amandine and sketched a fearful salute to the cat who was gorging himself with feline gluttony on the remains of frozen chili con carne from the day before.
*.
*Nothing was enough to bring the cat out of its usual torpor. A ball, a butterfly or the last issue of Life could customize it into a turbocharged ball of nerves. Humphrey had always been a big kid.
*Amandine trod the sand of the Buttes Chaumont with a cheerful heel, delighted that the animal cabotines the globules and aerates the melanin.
*A young man turned, peepers widened, threw his fried whiting at the cat, and addressed himself to the other end of the leash.
*.
*.
*.
*A squad of bawling chickens bustled about in the sandbox. Having a child was at least something that Amandine couldn't blame her mother for.
*Have a mouflet, basically, why not? To feel the young person enjoying inside oneself, like a giant tapeworm, no, no, rather like a cutting with a beating heart, gradually stretching out its tentacles, no, no, its pink and plump arms. What if the cat is jealous?
*Sure that if Amandine were to reproduce, the funny guy would soon annex the club with Fisher-Price blows. Over time, he would live his acne trip on Finkelkraut or OK Magazine. And one day, he would like to become a conceptual painter instead of following the national road that would have led him to the seat of deputy or chartered accountant that his mother intended for him...
*But that fucking kid would be the prettiest in the stratosphere. A bacon full of life that would make guys jealous, those pale eunuchs with hemiplegic pelvis, these dead-end routes incapable of counting to three.
*Shit, why do you want to cajole your children and slap other guys with slaps?
*.
*.
*-What sweet is your cat, Miss, is it new?
*-Leave my cat alone, you scumbag!
*-Finally!
*-Satyr! Perverts who prowl in public gardens to bait young girls! Shame on you, there are children and a cat staring at you!
*-You are morals?
*The man took a merloque model business card from his jacket, he slipped it between Amandine's clutches before retreating to his nearest home.
*.
*.
*-What sweet is your cat, Miss, is it new?
*-I just had it serviced the other day, it had leaked a connecting rod and was eating too much oil.
*-I have light Esso for him and heavy whiskey for us, are you okay?
*-Blah...
*-But yes, I will show you my new Complac 986 ZGA and then my Ciklop scanner and then my extra hard disk Hafiza then...
*-I give up, otherwise you will start telling me about your S stories...
*-Ah, I knew that no one could resist the call of the microphone!
*.
*.
*Amandine sacrificed the cardboard rectangle with a pout. This big daddy had undoubtedly granted himself an emphasized address, a pompous job and a car phone which cost him all the skin in his eyes. What a moron...
*"If I turned you into a fur collar, said Amandine to the cat in front of her on the way home, that would be very becoming for this winter!"
*.
*.
*-So this is your computer?
*-Computer? It is a compatible personal solution...
*-And compatible with what? More imitation! If you want my opinion, these people lack originality!
*-Yes, but we only imitate what is good!
*.
*.
*-No agree, my cat is inimitable. There are no Humphrey compatible!
*-He hasn't found a soul mate yet? Well, apart from you I mean...
*-To have a whole brood of meowing clones to whom better-better? Very little for me!
*.
*.
*"A computer need only have three letters for everyone to jump on it," Amandine pointed out."The day IBM will manufacture sewing machines, the whole world will use Microsoft cross stitch."
*.
*.
*-What do you prefer? That I serve you a Viandox or come and sit on the sofa with me?
*-I have the impression that the cat has dangerous alcoholic inclinations, I will put Alka-Seltzer on him with his vegetable soup tomorrow morning.
*-Come on! Leave the cat in Cognac, the gondolas in Venice and piss the merinos.
*.
*.
*-But say something instead of looking at me with those bullshit eyes !.
*-You don't want me to tell you that you are the most important thing for me after my computer?
*-Or that I am as beautiful as a printer driver, change the coconut floppy disk, I have already given!
*-Do not get angry my little chip...
*-My little pixel...
*.
*.
*-Chouiteharte...
*-Oh yawn!
*-You've got lovely eyes, don't you know?
*-Hold on...
*-What? Don't you want me to kiss you?
*-Yes, but I'm taking out my lipstick.
*-Yeah, next time I'm shooting a black and white game.
*.
*.
*-What are you still doing? That's when you want!
*-Here, there you go!
*-I like with you, it's very spontaneous, we don't have time to think.
*-A moment... I'm coming!
*.
*.
*-You are making your request in triplicate or what? Say, I'm not gonna hang around all night!
*-One minute... I'm yours!
*-If I had known, I would have taken out my knitting, or so my jokari.
*-Two seconds... I'm already here!
*.
*.
*-Hurry up you otherwise I will catch cold toes, and when I freeze my rutabagas, I'm not worth a nail...
*-Start without me I join you.
*-Ah well it is beautiful female emancipation! Now women have the right to vote like their husbands and to serve in the army, and guys can stay two weights in the bathroom!
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*-Ho Baby, when you kiss me, I feel like I'm Chet Baker's trumpet...
*-Who is it?
*-A pianist, you don't know.
*.
*.
*-It does something to you here?
*-Uh... no.
*-And there?
*-Well no...
*-Not here anyway?
*-Yeeeeeesssss!!!
*-Sigh, a clitoral is my luck.
*.
*Due to two-three chromosomes the Male bulged out his chest and lost his hair. To shave, to pee while standing, to feel a dissident and fleshy almost-island between the legs, never to have either rules or children. Maybe it was for that - and only for that - that the men were hard on the GTIs and the big tits.
*Both had shown the most intimate of their intimacies quickly enough not to think about it. An amicably negotiated exchange. We popped her ass out on a whim. Amour-blitz, we showed our game even before setting the record straight. And the bigots, using bovine metaphors, to prohibit sexual vagrancy by explaining how not to put the plow of fornication before the horse of marriage...
*-Say, Raoul...
*-Yes Paulette?
*-I am announcing good news to you...
*-What? Are you already pregnant?
*-I called my boyfriend...
*- Did you already have a guy?
*-But I called him to tell him that I was ditching him!
*- Phew, I like that better.
*-Finally, it sounded busy, but my decision is still made. Anyway, I'm sure he was already cheating on me with a fake blonde.
*-Otherwise I would have taken care of settling the account of this little wanker who dared to flirt with you before me!
*.
*-You know Amandine, if you want we can meet again one of these days
*-What?!
*-It doesn't bother me at all, you know!
*-I just made a phone call to my boyfriend to send him for a walk and you told me that you wouldn't mind seeing me again!
*-Do not make a whole couscous, I do not mean that it was bad, but hey, good.
*-Hold me or I'll strangle you!
*-Be careful, it will leave imprints on the shaving foam!
*-Special machoãdeux! I'm not staying a minute longer here!
*-No one was forcing you to sleep with me...
*-The guys are all bastards, except Humphrey maybe. I'm breaking, good wind!
*.
*.
*Out of self-sacrificing love, Amandine had taken over from her husband developer. Getting software out of its ghetto was messy and generous. Today, the advertisements for the games hypertrophied the TV screens. Alongside the few authors who monopolized the gondolas, the alternative game movement resisted. And to keep the mill running, Amandine sold off her floppy disks in the early morning breeze. No worse than negotiating eggplants, and at least it kept better.
*.
*- Take a look at your floppy disks...
*-We have a promotion today, Ms. Boulardon,"The three daughters of Doctor Palmer" and"Palmer such a son" in a family package.
*-Is your software fresh?
*-For sure! Programmed on terracotta computers!
*-Organic then, as it is done now?
*-As I tell you, Madame Boulardon!
*-So put two copies in me, I should give some to my little nephew who is coming, it will occupy him and during that time he will not have bad associates.
*-As I understand you. The youth of today, it is not beautiful to see! Or to hear!
*-Who said you! It's all the fault of their American-style painque music! We don't even know if it's girls or boys...
*-And two floppy disks, two! Can I format them or is it to consume right away?
*.
*"Bidoche, fat! Swarm the louloutes, there won't be enough for the whole clique!"
*.
*-Tell me, where does this funny fruit come from?
*-It's exotic!
*-Is that so? Did they bring him back from the yellow cruise?
*-Ho there I stop you! Crusades!
*-But it looks very good... Like what these tribes there, they are also sometimes civilized men!
*-Like women elsewhere!
*.
*"This is the last time I fuck a guy with a computer!" Amandine suddenly burst into reality. The peeper, as if weighed down with anti-matter, it turned its eye and the good towards a new day... The night had been difficult.
*Like a vulgar three and a half inches, Raoul had cannibalized, phagocytosed, passed to the anti-virus, before erasing it from his memory without putting in the usual formatting."Next time, I'm going out with a post-revo-ass suburban quirk who gets high on macrobio or positive visualization, it couldn't be worse than a computer scientist."
*.
*Amandine had opened the belly of the machine, inspected the labels of the delicate laundry, tied a knot, put the white and the color in the oven separately, then leafed through her duck at the start, like all the girls, by the last page.
*Between special ozone eyeliner and Mexican leek pie, the women's journal was a digest of happiness. Amandine saw herself on a tropical beach, her epidermis bathed in the total waterproof screen.
*.
*-Argh! A stain!
*-It's smart, how am I going to get this thing back, eh?
*-Well take advantage of it! We are at Lavotro, it will make you less walking...
*.
*-Have you seen your new shirt?
*-She is beautiful, eh?
*-Meunan! She is horribleuh! Can't you see that big, downright encrusted stain, LA!
*-The turbo-active elements of the Alpha Tampone 2.1 detergent will fill up on stubborn stains...
*-While respecting the colors...
*-As well as the environment!
*- Yes, of all colors, it is the green that she respects the most!
*-Thank you Alpha Tampone 2.1 !!!
*.
*"At least I hope the water is good..."
*.
*- Did you see the guy over there ?!
*.
*-Where?
*-But over there!
*-Ah yes, over there, you mean?
*-What does he assure!
*-I preferred him with his clothes...
*.
*-I wonder why girls pay the entrance to the Buspala when with a turn at Lavotronic you get to know guys, I don't tell you!
*.
*-Josie, hold me back!
*.
*-You've seen those abs rolling under the skin!
*-You think we noticed there?
*-He'll take us for bells...
*-And if y comes to approach us?
*-I die!!!
*-Super, there will be more than me then.
*.
*-I don't dare go and approach the guy over there...
*-Would have to know if I hold you back or if I kick your buttocks so that you go and tease her sneakers! You are really a jug sometimes!
*-You laugh at me all the time! Bouhou!
*-But no, I didn't mean that...
*-Bouhouhou !!!
*-Listen, you're insortable! The other day you were already bawling like a pig when you saw Margerin... It's the last time I'm going on a trip with you!
*.
*"That I'm going to get them up, these two bitches, it's not going to make a fold..."
*"Every time I'm dumped, I take out my Lavotronic plan and every time I plug in two babes before the high temperature program ends. Okay, I screw up a futal every time, but it's worth it two good little lots."
*.
*.
*-Hu, um... Good evening!
*.
*-What? Uh, please I mean...
*-Tom Lacan, to serve you! I've seen you here several times...
*- Indeed, I feel an obsessional kind of impulse which pushes me to come to transfer my dirty laundry in family.
*-Okay, I especially come to do a little water painting, it doesn't eat bread.
*-And what have you painted now?
*-At the beginning I thought of you, but only a little. Besides, I moved away very quickly in favor of the modeling of your cat. What charisma, the animal!
*-How, where did this asshole go again?
*-His charisma?
*-But no! My cat!
*-It was locked in a machine stuck on the boil program... So I put it to dry.
*- Shit, her brushing is going to screw up again! I break down to look for it...
*.
*-You hit me in the eye so much that I decided to paint you, it's beautiful eh?
*-And by what right do you allow yourself to paint people! Can you imagine that I will change my hair color just to look like my portrait? Again this reactionary ostracism towards redheads!
*-You don't complain, you and your cat would have been burnt in the Middle Ages!
*-And you, we would have sacrificed all your satanic work!
*-Like what, we are living in a great time. The proof: my gallery is organizing a vernissage, come take a look!
*-Woah! Amandine Palmer, new darling of Chromatic All-Paris!
*-You can even come with your cat!
*-Humphrey hates social events, but I'll see what I can do...
*-Alfred? Ah, this is your friend...
*-Humphrey! My cat! Meow!
*-Whew I was afraid... So see you tomorrow night?
*- Say, will the press be there?
*.
*-Argh !!
*.
*-What, what's going on?
*-Table! What's this?
*-Do you recognize yourself?
*-How, it's a new concept to move into Actuel, right?
*-Of course, if you have remained confined to connement figurative art...
*- I stick to nothing at all, you know.
*-Graf ', video, IT, all means are good to transcend reality!
*-Ah yes, I feel completely transcended all at once!
*-You see! I think I'll put you on my next show!
*-An exhibition? Will it be in the art and culture area of ​​the Gare de l'Est?
*-No, to a gallery, a real one with guests and all!
*-You could at least invite me to the opening!
*-It's tomorrow evening, in the Marais!
*-Will I be able to broaden my cultural horizon, then? To me the crazy Parisian social events!
*.
*-Who is this thing? Grandma Nova?
*-How, it's you!
*-Ha yes I see, and you want to sell it to me, is that it?
*-Just show it to you! Admit that it does something to you!
*-And you dare to put THAT under my nose? Me who swears by the free figuration since Globe says it's out.
*-Damn! I am a cursed artist!
*-As my mother said:"in my time, artists did in the pious image!"
*-Rigolez, but one day the whole of humanity will recognize me! I will go to Ardisson and I will be...
*-Yes?
*-I will be... I will be...
*-When you want.
*-I will be... THE MASTER OF THE GALAXY !!! (taratatiiin!)
*-You better do basketry, that would keep you occupied.
*.
*"Don't you want me, babyyyyy! Don't you want me, hohohoho!"
*.
*"I have the blooouzzzzz! The blouze of the galley!..."
*"Loaded like a box of burden, I look in vain for a man! To not fall in the apples and bring me my laundry at home! Yeah yeah!"
*.
*-Say, you have a pretty voice!
*-Ah there it is! I see you coming!
*-Eh? What? Where?
*-You are going to give me the blow"I am a manager, and I will make you a staaaar!", And presto! The door to the 48-track digital studio opens straight to an eros-center in Hamburg!
*-Personally, I would prefer that we reopen One Two Two.
*-We can no longer go home quietly without being disturbed by a white caterer!
*-You know, redheads make very little money these days...
*-Whew! The bus arrives, saved !!
*.
*-How, have you waited a long time?
*.
*-Hey old man, haven't you found anything else to try to get up girls?
*-Mom, a bitter feminist!
*-Feminist yourself! We know the RATP plan. You men, no imagination!
*-Yes, us men!
*-At that moment, I make myself with a controller!
*-Just, bury your old maid's life, the bus is coming! And I can already see that the driver has these graying temples, I won't even tell you about them!
*.
*-Hum... you're not very talkative!
*-What next!
*-Yes, I ask you!
*-Instead of chanting clichés and commonplaces, you better help me carry my laundry bag!
*-You would have told me that I wanted to steal it...
*-Decidedly, the prejudices of the stronger sex lock the woman in a role of very convenient housewife! Laundromat, meals, ironing, knitting, warrior's rest... When will we free ourselves from the feudal yoke of conventions?
*-You write in Elle? No, totally agree, actually! I am scandalized that the cat who shares your existence does not lend a hand, if I may say so.
*-Humphrey is a purebred cat, and anyway he uses very little laundry.
*.
*.
*- Show your card there!
*-But it's an Old M'sieur l'driver Card!
*-No driver: machinery supervision attendant! Besides, are you really old, eh? What proves it to me?
*-You are not ashamed to make fun of an honest geront? A little respect young man!
*-It's not because you have wrinkles and sagging breasts that you are old! If that happens, you are young... A small cosmetic surgery operation, and presto!
*-But that would cost me an incredible amount of money!
*-Okay, but in less than twenty years you are recovering your costs! By usurping your age, you benefit from a transport ticket at a preferential rate! And on the back of the RATP!
*-But in twenty years, we have time to get old! It's a world, all the same!
*.
*-Pardon M'sieur Agent?
*-What else is there? do not see that I am in the regulatory and accredited exercise of my functions?
*- Could you drop me off at Avenue Foch, I would like to go to my son's house, bring him this blanquette that I prepared for him!
*-Say see, I'm not a taxi!
*-And then this bottle of Gros Plant, with a small jar of light margarine. Huh, you say? A taxi?
*- What is more, the transport of perishable or ethyl foodstuffs exposes the offender to pay a heavy fixed fine! That I do not take you there again!
*.
*-Say my young friend, you can stay standing!
*-Are you pregnant, candidate for family reunification?
*The woman remained vitrified, as if paralyzed. She swallowed up her saliva.
*-War injured, civilian invalid, accompanied by a child under four? So I have as much right to sit down as you!
*-Lord, the youth are taking power!
*.
*It was getting late and Amandine had to make love to her neighbor before nightfall, at least for her BA for the day to be valid. Bring out the big game, the giga-miracle of Sunday, which would transform the 287 bus into Lourdes and Fatima together. She gave in to her seat and offered a still warm seat. The old woman shoved her, took a deep breath, whirled around in a breath, and sat down. Blissful.
*"At this rate I will never arrive for Christmas, Easter to destroy everything, and more. With the budget cuts of last year, tintin to find a personal cart with the reindeer and all the shaking! I should have done chimney sweep or coalman."
*"When do we eat?"
*The fauna of surface public transport was an enjoyable and swarming field of study. But what could the first Togolese ethnologist think before this binocular who saw the world (immigration, AIDS, social charges, viruses. Cross out the unnecessary mention) through his deficient diopters and his eco manual?
*"Hey, it's like on TV!"
*"Minouminouminou ?? Houhouh Humphrey? Where did that stupid cat go again? We really can't go for a walk without him..."
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*.
*"I would put on my green polka-dot dress. Ohpinon, I'm going to look like a collective farm in Sunday clothes, it would be stupid with the cream of the whole Paris of the Arts and the Intellect. I have to do it when even a little local color."
*"I don't know what to wear, it sucks. All this rogue is really too bitchy... If it had been a costume party I would have come in a snowball or in a subway ticket, but with this bunch of self-conscious pedantic, guten Tag!"
*Since the bugs had legally punctured the mohair sweater annexed to his kindergarten (which did not fit at all), the closet doors gave off the scent of lilac mothballs which, reached as far as the nasal partitions of the cat, made him kind of feverish.
*.
*"Another base and wantonly flirtatious software that mocks the Christian foundations of the West. Ah, the legacy of feminism is beautiful!"
*"No thank you, I prefer to stay white!"
*"Damn he sucks that one, next time I go to Salvation Army, it couldn't be worse."
*"I wonder if it's a bit dated after all."
*"This one should look great on you, it's a stretchy latex model."
*-Turn around? Hmm !! Awesome! It looks great on you!
*-Are you sure?
*-But yes, but yes, it's very becoming, very trendy.
*-Trend what?
*-Well trend!
*-And then I find that the shoes are still a little tight...
*-Tight? You want to laugh... It is worn close to the foot this season, and anyway they will be done after a while.
*-I just have to have the right feet...
*-In this regard, it is my duty to prevent you from leaving without the man-da-to-ry shoe polish that goes with it!
*-With my feet?
*-But no, with the shoes there! My God, all these customers are going to drive me crazy!
*.
*.
*-Don't you think it's a bit wide?
*-But no, let's see! It will shrink in the wash. And then it is wearing blouson this season!
*-But the color is a bit marked, isn't it?
*-You know, it will rub off in the wash. And then it is getting dark this season!
*-But I'm still not going to spend my time washing this thing!
*.
*.
*-Goodness! A man!!
*.
*.
*The atmosphere was hot. The fauna waddled with jaded conviction. The buffet had undergone the assaults of the guests while the morfales and the guests let loose with an urban pout of the stars compared to the petits fours. Fortunately it was free.
*"Donkey piss, sidi-brahim, booze, twist-gut, Kro ', Villager, rinser, ask!"
*.
*-What do you do in life?
*-I'm a successful writer!
*-And if you are more successful one day, what will you do?
*-I am starting a career as an alternative writer...
*.
*-But I recognize you! You are a journalist in a famous IT magazine! What are you doing here?
*-I don't know, there must have been an error in the mailing of the invitations.
*-You know, computers are wrong so often...
*.
*-And what do you do for a living?
*-I'm a fashionable painter!
*-Fashionable? But when the fashion is gone, what will you do? Sesame oil paint?
*-Vanguardist painter while waiting for fashion to return...
*.
*-They're really messed up with these petits fours, if we were going to have a couscous instead?
*-A couscous? Damn, the headache! And national identity then, what do you do with it?
*.
*-Amandine !!!
*-Gabrielle, what are you doing here?
*-I work here. I am attached to internal communication...
*-It's going to amuse the gallery... We absolutely have to chat together, it's been too long.
*-We go outside if you want? Otherwise I won't have a second of my own.
*.
*"Damn, that sucks, it's not alike."
*-Me, I decided to be gay. Nowadays, there's more to girls than that.
*- Besides, heterosexuality is a totally archaic concept!
*- Soul, the notion of sexual relation has become an obsolete value good for some young people in need of strong sensations.
*-I would like to stop everything, but that would please Cathos too much, so I wonder...
*.
*"Gaby, you will never believe me! The other day Chicobard said to me" Huh, you have Jewish friends! But why not black people while you're at it!"
*.
*-Have you seen the grandpa over there? She sacred roploplos say so!
*.
*-It's incredible this mania for big roberts! Did you liquidate your dipus badly, or what?
*.
*-And if she has big nipples on top of that, it sucks! I undress her and it is there that I notice that she has the outposts in the shape of a nuclear warhead!
*-I see you already say to her"Oh excuse me miss, I never perform the sexual act in front of too congested areolas". Crisis!
*.
*-You realize that all the atoms that make up the universe, even those in my own body, are over fifteen billion years old!
*-It's true? You are not your age, say so.
*.
*-You saw the cannon over there !? Do you think I could do it to myself?
*-Would have to tackle it first, not easy!
*-And then please him, not easy!
*-And still manage to drag her home, lots of fun!
*-And then roll him a skate, good evening!
*-And still succeed in having a hard on, imagine that you can not!
*-You're right, she's not a girl for me.
*.
*"But where are the cameras?"
*.
*- Here Amandine, I must introduce François-Xavier Duroc to you!
*-Nice to me you Miss Balmaire.
*-I met him at the private party given by these two puppets from Coulon and Cotton at Jenkins' the other day.
*-And what do you do for a living, Mist'r Duroc?
*-Humpf, deputy head of section for the culture pages of SLM!
*-SLM??
*-Yes, Social Life Magazine! Not interested in the Press?
*-Oh yes! I have always dreamed of marrying a freelance writer.
*.
*.
*-Amandiiine! I was desperate to see you! How do you find the atmosphere tonight?
*-Hips! Wet!
*.
*-Amandine, I would like you to be my muse, my muse!
*-Your muse? But I mean, like that, full time?
*- Uh no, first I'll take you on an internship! You know, with payroll taxes these days I can't afford too much.
*-Special slugger! Get out of my sight!
*.
*-Say Tom, it's you who painted all these things!
*-But presently and affirmatively yes! Do you like it? I still have others at home!
*-What didn't you dare to show everyone?
*-But no, pffff, that I reserve just for you!
*.
*"Alright girl! I've always thought that red-haired people have something better than other people."
*.
*.
*"Excuse me, I'm a little on the knees. I'm on my fifth neologism of the evening and it pisses me off."
*.
*.
*.
*"Tss tss tss... This is how you become when you hang out in cafes."
*.
*-Mist'r Marcel, I would not like to bother you too much, but you have given us a damn tough note!
*-He uh say so! Speak politely my little lady! You talk to a man whom the Fatherland has defended!
*-Patrie or not, you're a little bloated to buy balloons on credit, you will have to get cash out now, and no wooden checks!
*-Liquid, liquid! With all the tons of liters that I unloaded from the wine growers during thirty years, you could well offer me one or two small cannons!
*.
*Alcohol makes you forget time. The energy must have whistled a hell of a battery of cannons, it looked like the band of a 12¯5 series gore film, with an added 3D smell. Throwing in a hatch more attentively to this homeland at the bottom of the bottle, one guessed a reactive and disjointed refrain, a stupid and recursive psalmonia.
*"Here again I find myself all alone. Ah yes, I must still have the visiting card of the guy who hit on me ÆRaoul Jaouân, game software developer. Okay after all he is cute, and then it must being a serious guy, I don't risk calling him."
*"Daughter, it is not because of two or three guys who do not deserve you that you are going to let go. You have to take on your role of independent and enterprising woman! I read it the other day in She is that it must be possible. I am going to offer my services to the most prestigious Parisian newspapers: to me the large areas, the wholesale scoops and the 30% tax deduction!"
*Amandine crossed her legs and put her elbows on the table. Not even a strawberry Vichy to make her eyes soft. The bar, his refuge, had that evening a crestfallen face, a harsh and nocturnal aftertaste of the end of a ball and a lifestyle. A certain idea of nothingness.
*.
*.
*- Damn, piss off that shitty kid!
*.
*-I remind you that it is all the same from you!
*-He is also yours, c't'enfant d'salaud!
*-Yeah, that is not said! You never know where you're going to hang out when my back is turned!
*-Of course, you're always in the cafe with Marcel and Lulu!
*-I have my reasons! It makes me forget that I married a badly-fucked!
*.
*-Almost as annoying as you and your stupid cat!
*-Qu'tyou critiques my gniard, okay, but not my cat!
*-Madame only has it for her cat! And go ahead and let him have love, gnia gnia gnia! Never a little treat for me, always everything for it!
*-He has more conversation than you! Apart from the Laval-Sochaux match on TV, you never speak"
*-I never speak? Shut up bitch!
*.
*-Damn, you smell the Bud beer three terminals around!
*.
*-And redheads, don't they smell like underarms?
*-Maybe, but at least it doesn't stink feet like you!
*-And it doesn't smell like cat piss maybe?
*-Humphrey, uneducated! He has fewer chips than you!
*-Bordel, I thought you liked hairy guys! Should know what you want little mother!
*.
*-And in addition you've been having a hard time lately!
*-You looked at yourself? I have no varicose veins at least!
*-On the other hand, hair in hand, you hold a layer!
*-Say that, say that, if you had not married me, you would have been fucked by a black or an Arab as I know you!
*-A rital is not really better! I wish Christopher had blue eyes!
*.
*"If contemporary art is to try to get away with a good pear... Egeria, muse, and then first eh, do I have a face of muse! Parmezan love a la Mario, I roll with the ripolin blueberry."
*"This is what it leads to wanting to attend another world. And besides, the petits fours were disgusting. Mario is there and I am looking for my happiness with a handful of artists not even in fashion! I am going to visit my rita -lover, it must not be stake yet."
*.
*-Hey man! Have you seen the girl ?!
*.
*-If she gives me her phone number, I'll get it tattooed on my chest to prove my love to her!
*-It's like in The Nation the other day:"The US redhead: pride of our genetic heritage", they said.
*.
*-Do you think that if we made gringue to our cat we could have the kitten with it?
*-Have you ever dredged a bowling pin with purr, you?
*.
*-Yo! A redhead!
*.
*-It seems they have a genetic molecule that gives them fiery hair and hot blood!
*-If it's true, she must have the DNA in trouble, that one!
*.
*-Oh and then no, they age badly at first, the proof: have you ever seen an old redhead?
*-But it's the fake redheads, the shampoo-tub frogs! Brunettes want to become redheads, redheads: brown, brown: blondes and blondes freak out clichés of female seduction.
*-And the keublas, they turn white, right?
*.
*.
*-If you knew, things are not going well at the moment...
*-Yeah, I think you look bad!
*-Me, I look bad?
*.
*-I'm sure you have gained weight since the last time.
*-That's because of Mario... I keep eating canneloni and just thinking about it makes me swell.
*-Just, I saw a super diet in Cosmo last month, it's made with oranges.
*-And you tried the oranges?
*-No, oranges are to make redheads lose weight! For brunettes, it's just pineapples, you should know that.
*.
*-You may be right in fact, I must get older... The mind that disintegrates really faster than cellulite!
*-But you have to react: you should do a little gym, I can get you huge discounts on a package of 144 months of intensive training in a gym that I know.
*.
*-So, what are you doing, my old lady?
*.
*-You still go out with Mario? He's a nice boy. You're lucky to have found such a good guy!
*-You mean I don't deserve it!
*-I'm not saying that, Amandine, but with the little face you have, you must not knock the guys down like flies with Flitoxe.
*-You worry me... Do you really find me so livid?
*-Listen, not everyone has the chance to be a data entry operator to tan in front of a monitor...
*-So how to do?
*-Are you even aware of the performance of the new UVA neutro-activated colagen?
*-With my red-haired skin, I'm not telling you about sunburn!
*-But who told you about the sun! Go grill your rind a little under the lamps on the Champs-Elysées. It will give you so many colors that your boyfriend will have to put on his Ray-Ban before looking you in the eyes!
*-I will also be phosphorescent in the event of a power failure?
*.
*-Not strong, I feel like signs of weakness in Mario, I don't know if he still likes me and that puts my value indicator in the red zone.
*-All that is psychic! Go to the hairdresser for example, it will boost his libido with your macaroni!
*-It's not just a question of hair...
*- Believe me, capillary psychopathology I know a lot about it. A good blow of scissors, and hop ciao la scoumoune!
*.
*.
*- Two days ago I was with Mario.
*-I have always found that you go really well together!
*-And then I decided to ditch him for good, it was becoming unlivable.
*-You're right, he really wasn't a guy for you!
*-That makes me still find myself all alone... I really want to be in love for good, but I still don't want a guy who loves me only for my body.
*-It's not at risk. You know guys, it's soup: it's hot and intangible and you don't always know what's in it.
*-I don't really want to go home tonight, I'm going to chew my dark thoughts again, stuff myself with jams and read Jean-Paul Sartre...
*-You just have to come home, we will both have a quick bite to eat and you can stay for the night!
*.
*-My girl, that bastard Mario has put your heart in micro-shards, I can't let you down like an old sock! You're going to come with me, I'm going to a hyper-trendy party, we're both going to have a watermelon!
*- Wasn't this opening the most up-to-date trip at the moment?
*-It was for the starters! Do not give me your country side! Fortunately, old Gaby is here to take you out a bit...
*.
*"Pffeewww, what youth!"
*"Hmmmm, what youth!"
*.
*-I'm really happy that you agreed to come, it was the first time that I hit on a girl in a Lavotronic.
*.
*-So like that you wanted to hit on me? And I who believed that it was to make me know the true art!
*-What do you think? That it was for your beautiful eyes? I mean, it was for your beautiful eyes.
*-How my eyes shouldn't take them for fools! They see that you are a failure!
*-Special jug goes! It is the last time that I speak to a redhead, one had warned me however!
*-And first of all what you paint, hey bin, it's not even beautiful! Here!
*.
*-You see, painting on a computer is art for penguins, it draws the lines all by itself!
*- Even more worth having talent, as for word processing. Everyone can write with it.
*.
*-Hu Tom, what are you doing next?
*.
*-You come to my place? I'll show you my Keith Harrings that I painted myself.
*-Not right away... I'm going to blow myself up again from the first evening and pass for a Marie lie down there!
*-Since anyway it's inexorable! We're meant to be, so why waste time?
*-My little father, you have to know how to make yourself wait! I'll call you and we'll meet up at your place one of these evenings!
*.
*-Say Tom? I'm going to your place, and we hug feverishly, like beasts, until dawn? Wasn't that the program?
*-How yes, that is to say that...
*-Assure a little man! I'm not going to do everything for you! Where do you live first?
*.
*.
*.
*-How exhilarating it is to exteriorize all this ephemeral sensory exaltation on an epidermis!
*.
*-What are you saying?
*-Nothing, I train on my own. Stop moving like that, it's not over!
*-It's hard to be a work of art. I hope it will be good at least, that no one treats me crust...
*.
*-But stop moving like that!
*-Hihihi the brush tickles me! Do you think it's really good for the skin, your thing?
*-Not serious, we will remove that from white spirit, and you have to know how to suffer to be beautiful!
*-Noooo! Not under the arms !!
*.
*-It's great to paint like that, at least it doesn't cost you a kopeck!
*.
*-The academic rigor of the framework must be exploded! And then at least you have lots of freckles, it avoids the anguish of the blank canvas.
*.
*-Feeling the inspiration of a genius like you, it gives me a funny ego all at once!
*-And then if you take the big head, it will give me more room to paint!
*.
*- By the way Tom, who is this statue?
*-Hum... It was made from a photo!
*-Ah... And she fucked this photo well?
*.
*-The painting must please your cat! It seems to make him all funny! Are you sure it's on her plate?
*-But yes, Humphrey has always been very artistic, you can't understand these things...
*.
*.
*-Good blood, what have I crushed. Are you still sleeping Amandine?
*.
*-Mmmmm.... Let me die in peace, I'm tired.
*-I made you see all the colors eh?
*-I couldn't shut my eye all night.
*-Hehe, what was I telling you!
*-Yeah mash, you were snoring like a bronchial sperm whale!
*-Snore? Let me laugh, it must be your cat!
*.
*-Amandine! You sleep?
*-Shit...
*-No but, be polite, what's going on?
*-You didn't put on a condom last night, you really have no sense of responsibility!
*-Nowadays they're all neon green or with little mickey's cake slices, and it doesn't go very well with my interior.
*-I'm sure you gave me your AIDS, the artists are all at least HIV-positive!
*-You will catch purple blisters, very decorative...
*.
*-Do you look bad or am I the one color blind?
*.
*- There are some who wallow in amazement, you are squarely in the satin Valentine.
*-That's the life of an artist. We're good for a good shower and another lap at the Lavotronic...
*.
*-You could still say hello!
*-One trampled on my virtue later than the chickens and I would have to say hello! You don't want me Wander your hand while you're at it!
*-Grrrrr... Kiss!
*-But what else is he talking about?
*-Me want a kiss!
*-And I don't want a kiss if not a hot croissant in five minutes!
*-Ah no, it's feelings blackmail, there!
*-No, it's croissants blackmail...
*.
*The animal had a bewildering potential for indifference. The price of the Dow Jones could collapse, the Richter scale circled the counter three times, Humphrey didn't care. Of course, this damn quadruped had pierced a metaphysical mystery inaccessible to man to enjoy such serenity.
*.
*Under the erosion of the moons,"Amandinouchinette" had changed into"Mandine" then"Dine". Time is a wolf for love, beware if you only call your loved one with one syllable, nothing is near.
*From the cosmic embrace to the long quiet river of age, life had taken its course. All gloomy, Thomas stirred the shards of the past, the residue of a starter love that ended in freewheeling. Their couple was tidy, after a time slot negotiated without enthusiasm. We called it wisdom.
*Why did you have to become an adult for good? There was an unwritten law, a swamp where the hopes of teenagers were leveled in protocol. Rea-so-nable, a word unknown to the kisses on the neck and sleepless nights battalion where Tom and Amandine had enlisted, in first class, a few years ago.
*The bite of the days froze the nights of Thomas and Amandine. He had believed he could explore his muse like a bottomless chalice. The quest had been exhilarating, but the years had caught up with it. They had gradually diluted the youth of the couple. Their kiss, so primal, so erogenous, had passed to the rank of acquired consciousness.
*Amandine had thickened. Not only in the body - calories have their reasons that diets ignore - but also in the mind. Stuck, candied, taken in the jelly of uses. A few more years and she would vote on the right.
*Even Humphrey had resigned herself. He had become cautious, lost his hair and swallowed"P for money" on TV, he who only tolerated post 10:30 pm culture. As others trade their revolution for bonds, Humphrey had left his ball and his innocence to follow Amandine to a planned and cottony tranquility.
*.
*"But what a stupid cat this animal! If I had known I would have dug up a German shepherd or a leaping pea from Mexico!"
*Could it have been, Humphrey would have turned scarlet. Always hanging around in the centipede of the vacuum cleaner - a sort of Brontosaurus with a characteristic seismic roar - the worst had to happen. The machine, even if it survived the fifties, nevertheless retained a formidable power of destruction.
*.
*"Humphrey, at the foot! Give the paw !!"
*.
*-Are you happy with you Humphrey? I hope this time you will keep yourself a little quiet!
*.
*-What happened to your cat? Did he fall into a corned beef machine?
*-Not at all his kind, he prefers the pot-au-feu.
*-It is very countryside? So he got sucked in by a combine harvester?
*- Imagine that this young moron forgot to levitate his paws when I was vacuuming. I'm not going to tell the Samu every time I maintain my carpet...
*.
*-The next time I vacuum, I'll lock you in the Henri II sideboard, you will have looked for it!
*-It's not that bad, the last time I had a military dog ​​that fell into a can of defoliant...
*.
*- Your cat's baldness starts in a funny place...
*.
*-I will perhaps mow it for next summer, it will be less hot and with the hair I can knit myself a superb sweater to match my hair.
*-It's completely Jungian, your cat is fixated on your vacuum cleaner: he must see in him a sublimated image of the mother he has never known...
*.
*-If he does all the fuss for a little vacuuming, what's going to be when he is in his old age and he has to operate on his prostate?
*.
*Annoyed, the cat had preferred to throw in the towel in front of all these elements which were unleashed against his innocent carcass, and patiently wait for better days. Expropriated from his rearguard burnous, he did not have much to lose after all.
*.
*Notwithstanding a distant pigmentary resemblance, Humphrey had difficulty grasping Amandine's motivations. A bit like the Young (species little acquainted with Republican customs) who - with the black skin of his brand new Perfecto - will try to understand why the police will now demand his civil status. The pachat did not understand why Amandine had taken it into his head to abandon him on a turnstile inside this hutch, even not well decorated. An authoritarian operation coupled with a perfect lack of taste.
*"Humphrey, be a little sane! The vet said you need a picture of you for your health record, you know? Is it that or a fingerprint of your nose, ink and everything!""
*"Listen to the cat, you're really starting to do well! I've already apologized for your tail, but I'm still not going to slam the skin of my butt at Harcourt's because the gentleman has decided to make his interesting!"
*.
*.
*-I want to ditch everything, like. Chocolate cakes, guys, my mom, life...
*.
*- Finally no, not the chocolate cakes, after all.
*-Don't let it go like that, I won't always be there to shorten your suffering states of mind. But beware: the blues is perishable food to beat while it's hot.
*-I'm fed up... And then the last metro has just left.
*-But don't worry like that! I'm not going to let you sleep under the bridges, what would you look like?
*-It's true? I can stay? Do you mind if I leave you twice as many dishes to do?
*.
*-And your cat then? Do you want to dump him?
*-Never in life, we have signed together a mutual assistance pact. When I spray the expiration date, it will take all of my life insurance.
*-And if he breaks his mustache and goes back to the sender before you do, he gave you the right to donate his body for an organ transplant?
*.
*-You know Amandine, guys are like that. Between the bastards who don't want to look like it and those who purposely pretend to be cows, it's hard to get out...
*.
*- Without counting in addition the idiots who are proud to be it!
*-I have nothing against men in particular. Now that would be more in general.
*-I think your cat has a bad influence on your balance. Isn't that true Humphrey?
*-I don't know, I wonder if he's not a little homosexual.
*-You know they really love girls!
*-Who are the cats?
*-Yes, but especially the homos, I know a lot of them, they are all crazy about me!
*-But then why are they gay when they like girls?
*-Just, it's because they adore us! Do you know a lot of straight guys who like women?
*.
*-At least Humphrey won't betray me. But psychoanalytically speaking, I wonder if it's not a bit equivocal to share your life with a ginger cat.
*-I didn't dare tell you, but I'm sure it's a pubic extension. You should have it stained black from nose to rump, that would clarify things.
*-Confidences for confidences, making it scratchy everywhere, I find that downright zoophilic!
*.
*.
*-Ouchadidon, if your mother saw you naked like that!
*.
*-Oh well my mother, I show her my elbow and she falls in full steam. When I was little, it was barely if I didn't have to go to the beach with my mittens and my balaclava.
*-It depends, if it was in the middle of winter it still fights a little!
*-Well, it's all well and good to criticize prudish taboos, but I'm gaunt them, don't you have a bathrobe?
*.
*-Finally, it is even better that you are there rather than your kindergarten.
*-Gaby, you are carrying there... A little respect for the ancestors.
*.
*-Amandine, if you are looking for something for breakfast, let me tell you that the cat is just under the bed.
*-No, not Humphrey !!
*-What, he's not plump enough yet?
*-With the cassava wildebeest last night, it would still be a little too much protein. Think about your food balance, old lady!
*.
*At the bottom (and even in wide and across) Amandine was far from being badly screwed. If her rib was a little weak, Mother Nature had flanked it with a pretty pair of small full-skin breast domes, a couple of lovebirds with their noses in the stars. And all that, buttocks and little Bob together ostensibly escaped the universal laws of gravity.
*She had never been able to verify it for herself, but it was said that her suffering eminence smelled of iodine and sea air, the kind of sea spray that chisels your character. And to say, the shaggy freckle of his little Venusian peak was well worth Tourmalets.
*-How, Woody ?! It's you!?
*.
*- Yes, like in the cinema! But at the price of the cokacid line, you had better go buy yourself a canvas, it would be cheaper.
*-And with that, we will say that the Jews are not stingy.
*.
*-It's the first time I have an apparition behind a pillar!
*-Yes, like Aladdin and his magic lamp!
*-You could have put yourself in blue-djinn for once. No?? Good.
*.
*-Amandine, you should try the patch glue instead, maybe there will be Stallone instead.
*.
*-We know each other! I saw you at the movies... But damned! You speak!
*-Yes, in American!
*- Shit, this is the first time that I snort and I come across the dubbed version, that's my luck.
*-Next time you will have Tom Cruise in Hebrew, I promise!
*.
*- Uh say Amandine... You don't take advantage of being in the dark to shamefully abuse the situation? Between redheads, you have to stick together a bit, don't you?
*-Yeah, but from there to rubbing your stomach and toasting your navel, there's a step. We do not bring Brooklyn and the Place des Abesses so easily!
*.
*"Are you sure you want to have the same color as the girl next door? Because if you quickly change your mind, I can still rinse off half the dye, it'll give you a black tiger-like look and red for the best effect."
*.
*-Shit! My contact lenses!
*-You are not doing stupid! They must have fallen in the dye bath, they will come out to you just a little more red than before.
*-But it will give me bunny eyes!
*-You know, colored lenses are all the rage right now, and we also make them for you...
*.
*-Well then, how do we do the little lady?
*.
*-But stop talking to me like a butcher who negotiates a pound of tripe! We are supposed to be at a young and trendy hairdresser! Damn, what.
*-It shows that you have been in Paris for a long time...
*-You know, in the long run I will end up wondering if you are a real hairdresser! Besides, I have every reason to be wary: you have neither gold curb chain, nor lavender eau de toilette, nor striped shirt...
*.
*-I would love to do dreadlocks for you, I saw a Bob Marley retrospective the other day on TV, and my maggots itch!
*-And why not quilts or sauerkraut with sausages?
*-Otherwise I will make you a little gradient, there, and then a small perm, there, and then a small discoloration, there, and then small strands!
*-Where are the little wicks?
*-The...
*-Ah yes... In the end, I would like to let myself grow. But the downside is that to have long hair, you have to wait a lot longer than for the brush cut. What bullshit life.
*.
*-Hey easy! You are not paid for the length of hair you cut!
*.
*-Ta ta ta! Trust me, I will build your morale out of reinforced concrete, hello baraka!
*-But by the way, who's cutting your hair?
*-I have very little confidence in my colleagues, I missed enough and I believe that a lot of people would like to take revenge. I cut everything myself.
*-Everything is explained.
*-You know, I know an onanist surgeon who operated on his own...
*.
*-It's still incredible! Normally when we give our cash we have the right to something more, hey well at the hairdresser we give you your wheat and in addition we leave with less hair, what a scam...
*.
*The hair dryer massacre was in full swing. A few more minutes, and Amandine would join Mario, her Mario. She would ask him, according to the established formula, if he had noticed anything changed in her. And he, in accordance with current practice, would scratch his ciboulot for two or three seconds and respond"You bought new shoes, right?". Amandine would then wonder if all this would not be basically a little superficial, and would soon be resigned to the idea that a man should always see his wife, and never look at her.
*.
*All sails out, Amandine was going to follow the tide of firm muscle. Her breasts would defy the years, her buttocks would follow them with their heads held high: she was going to remix her physique like hardened steel. Twice a week, she would go and sacrifice to the worship of the god maintenance.
*.
*-Is it normal that it heats up so much? Did they put the thermostat on full throttle, or what?
*-Bah! This is normal, it means that it has an effect on you.
*-If I had been told one day that I would pay to roast myself unilaterally...
*.
*-At this rate, I'm going to fuck the skin of the buttocks and elsewhere.
*-You don't complain. One day there was one that got stuck all night inside the thing, and since the staff forgot to unplug everything, only a little anthracite was found the next day. It was necessary to determine its age at carbon 14...
*.
*-Just, about cooking, I hear the other's cellulite starting to sizzle, I'm going to go and turn it over. Good cooking...
*.
*-So everything is OK?
*-Yes, but frankly, do you think the tan looks good on me? Well, it depends on where you tell me...
*.
*-But of course: it brings out the whiteness of your immaculate soul! And then don't complain, after 299 paid sessions, we offer you the 300th! Getting your rind scorched, nice, isn't it?
*.
*-And then I still have the fear of being checked by the cops now that I'm going to be tanned. You never know, you mustn't provoke them...
*.
*With her tanning stories, Amandine played a little with fire. Who could tell if his new skin radiation would ignite Mario's libido? Did Amandine have to jealous the Club Med 'diaspora and put her alabaster in the pizza oven?
*.
*-Hi Mist'r Welcome, I read something...
*-The satanic verses?
*-Baahno! A great diet based on oranges. With that, I'm going to freak out Mario, definitely.
*-It is to become round like a citrus fruit?
*-You, it is obvious that you do not read the newspapers... It is to lose weight, of course!
*-But you are already thin as a rachytic leek!
*.
*Even if the sorrowful spirits of the paname-casbah said that he was Ali Baba and the forty thieves all by himself, the grocer had always kept that same air of joviality which seemed to have never left him from the cradle. The seven plagues of Egypt and all the misery in the world could well befall all of the 18th, its ¥ it would not be less effervescent.
*Since Amandine came to cash him his carrots, he had only closed one working day, that of his wife's death. His tomatoes had looked a little gray for two days, but it was gone again as if nothing had happened. As long as the right of France counted its voters in Arabic numerals, all would be well.
*The relentlessness with which all merged - with a delectatory masochism - inside precalibrated social molds had always amazed the grocer. And everyone was doing it: men, women, young, old, white, black, tall, short. The conformist was still the best exportable consensus...
*.
*-Say so, it's the first choice! Hey redhead, wanna try?
*-After all, I'm more around...
*-You're right, besides all the greats of show biz are sticking their noses full of it.
*-Is that so?
*-Yeah, one line a day, you're a record critic, two you're on TV and five you're right at the top of the Top 50 with a song against drugs! Hin hin hin!
*-So how to do?
*-Look, you take your straw and you sniff a big blow!
*-Like that?
*-But no, with the nose!
*-Like... Uh... Mom, I feel bad!
*.
*-Gaby! Come on, let's go!
*-Eh?
*-Gabyyyyy !!!!! Come on, let's get over it!
*-I do not hear anything!
*-Hey, pass me a cigarette! I'll give him smoke signals...
*.
*-Hey Amandine, you are still not going to snort this thing! Have you become completely siphoned off?
*-Oh you, no need to play virtue mothers, life is too short to sniff sad!
*-And after all, these white stories are none of my business...
*.
*-Come on, don't play your bitch!
*-I hesitate anyway, what if I die in drug hell?
*-You're carting there... Do I have a junkie's head?
*-Well, uh...
*-And then it's still classier than the patch glue! That's a nerd thing, no p'tits loulous broke to bite me n ¥ ud.
*-OK, I want to try, but it will be the first and the last time!
*.
*-No, not here! We could be seen...
*-Stop, it's dark!
*-And then we could be heard...
*-But no... You haven't seen the giga sound system !? We risk nothing, I tell you...
*-It's only been three records and two whiskey-coke that we know each other and you want to roll me a skate when we haven't even danced a single slow together! I have principles, shit...
*.
*.
*-Hello bunch of blairs'! Tonight, in our section"Conceited books", we welcome Amandine Palmer... We applaud her!
*- Damn, what a vibe, Kiki...
*-Yeah, so Amandine I decided to invite you because you laid a paving stone which will throw itself into the puddle, hin hin hin! It's called"I went through drug hell".
*.
*.
*-But I mean, why such a title?
*-Well uh, I wanted to say that I had lived through drug hell, well I mean, you see...
*-But uh... You're not afraid to go a little hard?
*-Rahhh I feel you come with your questions.
*-Hin hin hin, thank you! But shoe polish doesn't work with me.
*-No it rolls! Ha ha ha!
*-Hin hin hin! Well, you still didn't shoot white sneakers, eh? So what did you get?
*-Bah, I started by snorting white glue, and then I switched to rolls of double-sided sticky paper...
*-Cut! Very well Miss Palmer, but we had to talk about your martyred childhood before! Come on, let's redo it... Are you ready?
*- Absolutely, sir!
*-Hum hum... Hi bunch of blairs'! Tonight, in our"stupid books" section...
*.
*-Decided to invite me, yeah, well it's still my publisher's press secretary who offered you a trip to Colombia.
*-Hin hin hin, you're not lacking air I see... Good Fred, we will cut that during the editing, eh?
*.
*-Yeah, finally I mean, I wanted to write"I lived through drug hell" so that a young person, you see, does not fall into it. It's really hell, I mean... And then it's not positive.
*.
*-Hin hin hin! Yeah, I see... So Amandine, it seems that you are also going to record a record? Finally I mean, it's a noise that runs, hin hin hin!
*-You know? I never thought the press service mailing would arrive so quickly...
*.
*-And pi besides, I mean, it is useless to get high. OK it still served me to write a book, but me now I shoot literature you see. Jean-Luc Lahaye, Alain Prost, BHL... Well, all that I mean.
*-But hey, you still don't have the balls that this cameo image sticks to your ass, right?
*-Me cameo? You know, if I had continued to destroy myself, I would never have found the strength to write this book...
*-Hin hin hin! Come on admit the Palmer a bit... Are you still snorting?
*-But he takes me in the head this guy!
*-Come on, mother Amandine, don't you have a dose ?! Hin hin hin!
*-No but anyway, do I ask you if you have hemorrhoids?
*.
*-Hi Etienne, nice to have invited me...
*-So uh, Hubert de Saint-Arnaud, you are in charge of mission at the Ministry of Youth and Sports. So your job is the anti-drug fight, what?
*-Indeed, it seems to me essential to immediately become aware of the serious problem which threatens our children. I have two children of my own, and for nothing in the world I...
*-And what do you think of Amandine Palmer's book"I lived through drug hell"...
*- Appeared in the White Line editions, 89F...
*-Hu, thank you Amandine...
*-Yeah, it's a very interesting testimony-emotion. Mademoiselle Palmer denounces with force and talent these merchants of death and encourages dialogue between parents and children, an indispensable element...
*-It's not window dressing, what, hin, hin hin! You two have known each other for a long time, I think?
*-Yes, earlier at the rehearsals.
*-Well, that's fine, but the clock is ticking, the children will have to be torn apart... I think the debate was really complete and above all hyper-constructive, eh?
*-Absoutely.
*- Next week, I will receive Gabrielle Bakaba for her book"My best friend in the hell of drugs". Until next time, lots of chicory!
*.
*-So like that, there aren't enough African illegal workers in France, you had to go to their place with your girlfriend ??
*.
*-Well that restores the average, and then it's not the end of the world.
*-That's how you are! As if it wasn't enough that your father died - peace to his soul - and that the accounts of the fair last Saturday are in the red, here you are leaving me like an old rug!
*-But it's just a vacation, I tell you! You really have the gift of dramatizing everything!
*-At least it is this Gabrielle who accompanies you, you are not quite alone. Because you never know what could have happened to a pretty young girl like you. A bad meeting happened so quickly...
*.
*-But what do you need for you to go there, eh? We have always spent our holidays in La Baule, but you still don't miss the sun!
*.
*-Hi Mom? You'll never guess where I'm calling you from!
*.
*-Mom, are you listening to me?
*-Mom, what's happening to you?
*-Mom, are you okay ?? You do not say anything anymore?!
*-I expect the worst! And yet you made me see all the colors! So where are u At the police station, at the police force, in a free radio or in the squatt of a pop group?
*-Go kidding mom! I am just in Africa.
*-Oh yes, if it's a joke I find it in particular doubtful taste!
*-Come on, go get your doctor Gustin's lithina and don't take the lead, I'm at Gabrielle's uncle for a few days!
*-Here! I should have guessed! He wants to take you for a wife! I at least hope that the zebus he is going to offer me in exchange are in good health...
*.
*- Come on, what have you invented yet to make your mother inky blood! It's because I'm getting old, my nerves will eventually give way.
*-With Gabrielle, we decided to go green with her uncle.
*-And where does he live? At La Courneuve or on the island of Saint-Denis? You know these places are very badass!
*-But not at all... Besides, he's in Africa!
*-IN AFRICA??? But, but, but, but are you eating well, at least?
*-Always with your food stories! Get psychoanalyzed, it's hiding something.
*- Make fun of your old mother! I did read an article in Femme-Pratique on malnutrition. Believe me if you want, but these people eat anything!
*-Bah, that changes a little Mac Do, what.
*-AND did you do all the vaccines?
*-But yes, Mom... And I also have my distress flares, my survival ration and my teddy bear.
*-Exactly, what kind of hairy and badly licked animal that serves as your cat?
*-We smuggled it with the help of a cocaine trafficker, those bastards customs officers would have been able to keep Humphrey in quarantine...
*.
*-Doctor, my daughter worries me more and more...
*-That's normal, you are her mother!
*-She purposely goes to eat in weird restaurants...
*-Hu... Fast food?
*-No! Foreign restaurants! Are there not enough good American establishments like that? She has to go eat things I don't even know the name of! If it turns out it's dog!
*-Do not complain, she could practice curious religions, come from the Middle East... Catholicism for example.
*-In addition, she always takes me to see avant-garde Czechoslovak films. Well believe me if you like, these people don't even make the effort to speak our language!
*.
*-What do you think about widowhood?
*-God took away my late husband, and the devil my daughter! Heaven is witness that I did not want it!
*-Do you think your husband's Canadian culture had an influence on your daughter? Does she find it difficult to integrate into Western society?
*-One day, a police officer asked my husband for his residence permit, I think that traumatized Amandine a lot. It was then that I understood the harmful influence that this marginal young Togolese had on my daughter...
*.
*-Sometimes I wonder about the usefulness of our sessions...
*-Nobody listens to me Doctor! Even my daughter, my own daughter does not answer on purpose when it is me who calls! Can you hear me doctor?
*-Yes Yes...
*- Here, the other day I had her on the phone, she covered me with sarcasm, outrageously humiliated me, me her mother!
*-Poor daughter.
*-What??!!!
*-How no, nothing...
*.
*-You know that Amandine has taken it upon herself to live alone... As if I were suffocating her! However, I have always been of irreproachable discretion.
*-But still?
*-So last week, I called him...
*-Last week? You mean just now?
*-I have the right to hear from her a little, she thinks too much about her flirtations to call me! And again, it's just if she gave me her number!
*-You never told me she had the phone...
*- She's a bad girl... Besides, she doesn't even know how to cook!
*-So what?
*-And then, she could STILL invite me to dinner at her place from time to time!
*.
*Since his meeting with Duroc, the call of the press resonated like that of the open sea, it took you there, like an impregnable desire to put the ends towards the fifth column in the front page. Amandine was going to enter the bacon of the papier mache. Lazareff here I am, she sang to herself, sharpening her metaphors in advance...
*The desire to place his claw in the legs of a well balanced article had been working Amandine for some time, intermittently of course, but nevertheless pressing. In fact, it went away and it came back, a bit like a popular song...
*The journalism Amandine dreamed of was a bit of a prince charming. We see it again, knowing full well that millions of couples were tearing their eyes out. By wanting to cross the mirror too much, Amandine risked perhaps the same disappointment as when one discovers the kitchens of a large restaurant or the wardrobe of a fashion editor.
*Duroc had decided. Amandine was going to take the bull by the horns and the middle of the press by the good side. After a period of purgatory in Nice or in Cambodia, she saw herself angrily initialing murderous editorials which, by implication, would turn the tide of the next ballot...
*.
*-Ah there you are !!
*-Hey you, it's not the blue waves campsite here, it's a newspaper!
*-Exactly! It's been three days that your editor's chief there deliberately and ostensibly refuses to receive me!
*-I'm fine, but if you continue to hang your laundry in the hallway of the foreign policy department, I think it's off to a bad start.
*-I didn't go on a hunger strike because it would be bad for my metabolism, but if I ever freeze to death, it will fall on you! And hello the media impact!
*-Ah, I can see the titles of the competitors from here! Okay, if that sounds fun for you, I can arrange a touch with the editor for a little while. But he's going to be in a bad mood...
*.
*-You want to get paid for your freelance last year, right?
*-No, I'm waiting for the editor.
*-But it's not here!
*-And this door then, what is it?
*-To create a diversion against terrorists. In fact it is just the ridding of the cleaning lady, who will soon be transferred to the microcomputer service. It shows that you do not know the tricks of the trade!
*-And me then, what do I do? Tapestry maybe?
*-You are going to get the hell out of me! Come on, ouste, broom! And you're lucky that an editorial messed us up with the Ministry of the Interior, otherwise we would send you a peloton of voltigeurs to dislodge you!
*.
*-You saw, she even paid a page in the last issue!
*-What are we doing? We could let it go on for a bit, that would make us money!
*-And that will immediately give good points for the advertising department, which will not even come and say thank you...
*-You're right, I've always found it disgusting that this Lambert clampin earns more than me, phone this Palmer and make an appointment with him. We should find a place for him to write letters to the editor. And then we will only have to pay it in copyright.
*-For tomorrow, the appointment?
*-But no damn it, in two weeks, I don't want us to imagine that we're doing anything... And apart from that, that minister's asshole, did you get your hands on it?
*-Nothing to do, I've been trying to get her for three days, her press officer tells us to call back to the next seven-year term...
*.
*-For God Sake!! No way to escape this one! She even sticks her nose under my window!
*-Do not complain, this kind of badly rinsed redhead has also paid for all the signs for Sixth Avenue Line... And I don't even dare to turn on the radio.
*-We are not going to be impressed like that, and the deontology shit ?! Go call her and tell her that the freelancers are $100 per page, so she'll leave us alone...
*.
*-The universe, hello!
*.
*-Hello? I would like to speak to the editor...
*-Don't quit, I'll see if he's there!
*-But you already said that five minutes ago!
*-Who is that, me? How so?
*-I called earlier, and you told me that his line was busy and to call back in five minutes. So I call back!
*-But if everyone did like you, we would never get out!
*-Five minutes does that mean in an hour? So it's like the number of readers, should everything be multiplied?
*.
*-Ah is that you? Listen mademoiselle, it's been the eighth time in a quarter of an hour that you've called the newspaper, I repeat that the editor-in-chief cannot receive you!
*-That's good, I'm free for an appointment tomorrow!
*-Mr Benichou is currently in a conference, I can take a message from him, he will call you back!
*-That's right, the last time you didn't even take my phone number! The Berlin Wall fell but there are still fortresses in the West! Should see to do a little your perestroãka!
*.
*-Hello Universe? I would like to speak to Joseph Benichou!
*.
*-Do not quit, I'll pass it to you... It's from ??
*- Pass it to me, anyway he can't refuse me anything.
*.
*-How so? Don't you want to pass it to me? If we ever learn that you refused to pass it on to me, me, Amandine Palmer, it's going to be chatting at diners in town! In your place I will prepare my retraining!
*-Very well, don't quit...
*-Hum... Authority, that's the only thing that works with secretaries...
*.
*-Amandine Palmer t-shirts, Amandine Palmer badges, Amandine Palmer frilly briefs! It's been three days that she bombarded the editorial staff with her stupid gadgets! She wants to turn around the merchandising industry on her own, or what?
*-And there are still ten couriers waiting at reception!
*-We will have to try to pass all this on to the Romanians.
*-And the balloons? Do you think we could pass them on to the Rolling Stones?
*-In any case, the boss doesn't want to hear from this girl anymore: she sent him an Amandine Palmer inflatable doll by special carrier. In his place I would have done less second degree...
*.
*-It's really starting to do well! Who is this chick sending us all this? She wants to suffocate us?
*-She says she wants to become a journalist for our cabbage leaf. In his place, I would rather apply to Pif Gadget.
*-Laugh! But the productivity has dropped dramatically in the editorial office since she sent a poster of her naked to each department manager.
*-Hehe, it seems that the editor-in-chief offered him a job interview. Maybe he wants to judge on documents...
*.
*-Listen, you take me a little lesson, I don't have much time to receive you...
*.
*-No problem, I have a style that can be read quickly.
*-Good idea, because the other day I had a little freelance writer, like you, who was spreading neolo with a shovel, the guy unreadable... Even I didn't manage to understand.
*-Same you? I remember when I was little, I read your articles at the dentist, hey that's too much! Yes, yes, I really had gum problems when I was little. That's a bit how I got a taste for the press.
*-Ha ha, you're smart, that's good.
*-So you like my article, I have a full file like that if you want!
* -Hum, let's see that... Yeah... Oh yeah, not bad, well done for his face... Not bad at all say so! But, uh, what exactly is that about?
*-Well basically, it's more a reflection on the role of the field of alternative computing, but in fact not really...
*-I hadn't seen it like that, but hey, there's a paw... Look, I can't pass this one to you (we've been in the loop for three weeks), but send me another example, just ten or fifteen pages, so I can get an idea... You will see that you will make your way!
*.
*-Good go swarms, I have a 'redac' conf at 11am, I absolutely have to go this time... Excuse me for being so direct, but are you writing correctly?
*-Is that so? Is it that important? Uh I don't know actually, if I tell you no, what do you do?
*-Nan, because I'm thinking about something that might suit you... Where have you worked before?
*- Uh, nothing concrete for the moment... Oh yes, I did a lot of babysitting. And then we are not going to publish my articles with my CV at the bottom!
*-Baby-sitting, yeah, not bad...
*-Do not laugh, that's how I paid for my typewriter. And then it gives me a super concrete experience in the field.
*-It's stupid, because for this thing, I was just looking for someone who had not been perverted by all this media environment, someone a little virgin, you see?
*-But you know, I'm not perverted at all!
*-OK, we are doing a three-month renewable trial and if it's successful, I'll take you on an internship. You are going to make yourself a golden place in this duck!
*.
*-So this one, it's an article about a new philosopher who went into exile in Corrèze. And then this one is the review of a book by a Cevennes shepherd.
*.
*-Listen, you're hurting me, there... I really can't get past that! What would the reader say, eh?
*-Ah well, you only have one reader? I knew the press was in crisis, but still...
*-It's completely illegible your thing, and then hey, there's even a fault there, damn another one! I have to give you Larry King's number, at least the spelling can't be heard on the radio...
*.
*-Ah yes, this is an investigation on the political refugees of Syldavia.
*-Nan, foreigners, all that is worth nothing... Find a good subject:"Should we be afraid of war in San Bananas?"
*-Not bad, it is especially original.
*-And what bothers me -I'm not saying that for you- but you're still a little young...
*-But it gets better from day to day. And I am already preparing for active menopause.
*-It's still a bit awkward, but I see that what would really interest you is a big social problem. See with Sylvianne what you can do, it's upstairs. We're gonna do something with you, don't worry!
*.
*"A young reubeux (" beur"in verlan) was killed yesterday by two policemen." I was cleaning my baton, and the blow went off by itself!"Declared Brigadier Trognibus, who risks until the suspension of his driver's license, suspended."
*"Debate: for or against sterile polemics?"
*"The new software" Kiki et Zouzou"more controversial than ever:" We have not seen the game, because we have not yet managed to fit the floppy disk into our VCR, said Monsignor Lustucru, but we are protesting in advance against its distribution in bookstores!"
*"A software developer broke into a computer club last night, and opened fire with his laser gun on three young thugs who had just illegally duplicated his last game. The hard drives resisted , but the three criminals were instantly disintegrated. The question of reestablishing QHS for software pirates can no longer be evaded for very long by the Socialo-Marxists."
*"Another victim of computer viruses, in the person of our collaborator Max Flox. His favorite software (" Arian Warrior", a South African choute zème eupe, featuring a young Breton patriot in the district of Goutte d ' However) has indeed been irreparably erased, victim of the Judeo-Islamico-Cosmopolito-Masonic lobby for the destabilization of the fundamental values ​​of the Christian West."
*"It cannot go on any longer," said the spokesperson for the movement for liberal software,"piracy causes us considerable harm and slows down the dynamism of our companies and prevents us from taking up the challenge of Europe in 1992. If the police were doing their job, we could publish a lot more young writers, and even - who knows - maybe pay them!"
*.
*Amandine had earned her stripes under collagen creams like others under bombs. Permanent editor in the beauty notebook of the weekly appendix"Madame Universe", she had not pulled her hairpin so badly. But cosmetology is an inexact science, and it was the epidermis that paid the premium. Amandine's future could now be seen at the bottom of a care jar with active liposomes.
*.
*"Well, Phil can you hear me ?? Well yes Jean-Paul, third point live for - if you will allow me the expression - this great feast of the little queen, it must be said. I left you earlier on the sublime feat of Svend Andersen. Svend Andersen, author of a formidable breakaway, suffered a bad fall - but are there any good falls? - Svend Andersen I was saying, saw his lead melt like snow in the sun. To you Phil!"
*.
*"Gnnn... Hellou Little holes... Little holes... Gnnn Gnnn..."
*.
*-I protest! It is perfectly anti-deotonlogic that Marc writes an article on his own book during working hours!
*-Fuck you really have the gift to look for the little box! And then like that I have first hand information, hey!
*-Gilbert rightly, Marc. Admit all the same that you could have taken a pseudonym to sign your own interview, that would have made more credible!
*.
*-So for the film section, I had thought of Front Page, Bel Ami and Citizen Kane. But hey, if you don't want it...
*-You should do in the theater too, there would always be people on the balcony, waoooo !!
*-Poor con...
*.
*"Well come on, be a little constructive children, I have a duck to go out! For the moment there is just Patrick who offered to have a drink and Nadia who asked when she would be paid... Sounds a bit thin!"
*.
*-Yeah, so I just finished an investigation, I pretended to be an illegal developer. I had to lose weight, smoke three packs a day and become myopic...
*-Enter the character, that is journalism-truth! Next time we'll just have to send a little freelance to pretend to be a stripper, that'll teach her the job! And I devote myself to taking the pictures, warf!
*.
*-Yes, I find all the same that the paper of the economy notebook is a little cheap. When we get out of the printing press, we will soon have to flush the toilet.
*-Well listen, another one like this one and I'll stick you to the TV section without risk premium!
*.
*-A paper on alcoholism, yeah, that's not a bad idea.
*-And then it won't be worth looking very far to find a specialist...
*.
*.
*Four boys, their hair shorn fresh and the reel coming out of a business school, waddled their buttocks on the stage. One of them smirked in play-back a clear and catchy gimmick. Another square that had not waited to be out of the formalin to pass on the antennas just after the Loto draw.
*.
*-What energy, say so! We wish them in any case a long career... Well yes, welcome dear friends on the set of B like ???
*-Bliss for Happiness!!!
*-It's great! We immediately welcome our three candidates!
*.
*All quenottes in the wind, in the air of the sunlights, Luc Riboisière knew the song as well as an old monkey who is no longer taught to do. A Mister Loyal Clean morning, simultaneously ideal son-in-law and daddy-cake hand on the throbbing, beat-box and drum beating in unison. Enough to smell toothpaste and quite a bit of megahertz bleach all around.
*.
*-Hello Odile!
*-Hello Luc...
*-What do you do for a living, Odile?
*-I'm in the confection.
*-A very beautiful job that of the confection... Well, good luck Odile!
*.
*-Hello Amandine! So Amandine, in a few words you are ??
*-Heu well... I am twenty three years old, and then I am a former student.
*-Do you feel attacked? Not too intimidated ?? Eh?
*-Well uh...
*-Ah yes, a little bit anyway, ha ha !!
*-Hu... It's still the first time that I spend at such a prime time...
*.
*-Well say my dear Jacques, you are the only man among our three condidates, downright!
*-Yes, uh, hey...
*-And I committed a little indiscretion... You forgive me, Jacques? It seems that you are... That you are celebrating !!
*- Uh, yes, that is to say that I work a lot, so...
*-Ha ha! I see that you do not leave some of our spectators indifferent!
*-Yes, uh... Indeed...
*- Come on, we encourage you Jacques! Next to two such charming young ladies and in front of thirty million viewing friends, it is not so easy!
*.
*-Attention, first question! Listen, there is a little catch! Among these four personalities, who is the odd one out? Olivia de Havilland, Ronald Reagan, Humphrey Bogart and Louis Jouvet?
*.
*-I was thinking of Humphrey Bogart... Is that the one Claude Chabrol never directed?
*- Bad answer Odile... Let's see it was simple: neither Ronald Reagan, nor Humphrey Bogart, nor Louis Jouvet are film actresses!
*.
*-I would say Ronald Reagan... I think he's the only one who has never shot for Lux soap?
*-Wrong answer! Too bad, Amandine... It's Louis Jouvet, who was the only one never to have been directed by the director of Rowell des Bois in 1939, Michael Curtiz, who also shot the adventures of Captain Blood and Casablanca! And we will come and say that this is not a cultural program!
*.
*-Louis Jouvet maybe? He's the only one to have been in politics, isn't he?
*-Ha là là là... Olivia de Haviland was the only one to use hairspray and not brilliantine! You do not score, sorry Jacques, but nothing is played!
*.
*.
*-Second question! What is the common point that both Michel Droit (from the Academie Francaise) and Michel Platini share at the same time?
*.
*-How, a furnished apartment in rue de Bièvre perhaps?
*-What a pity, Odile! Michel Droit (from the Academie Francaise) and Michel Platini have both written a book! Yes, a book, you had to think about it!
*.
*-I think they both worked for Pernod-Ricard before getting into politics?
*-I think you are a little confused, Amandine... They quite simply made their first communion a leap year! It was, however, in the "TV-Mega-Plus tells you more" section of the TV-Mega-Plus magazine this week!
*.
*-Are they not part, at different times, of the editorial committee of the Team?
*-Ouch ouch ouch, Jacques what happens to you ?! It was almost that! Michel Droit (from the Academie Francaise) and Michel Platini were both for France in the semi-final of the World Cup against Brazil, it was no dumber than that!
*.
*-Odile, Amandine and Jacques, last question that will decide between you! What famous movie is this line"Dont 'tell any bullshit, you little motherfucker... Ya know man, you'd better look around or this fucking war gonna fuck you!"
*.
*-I was thinking of"Pepe le Mocko" by Steven Spielberg, with Spencer Tracy and Jacqueline Maillant...
*- Wrong answer, too bad, but there is the idea!
*.
*-Or then I would say"The big blue with a quiet sock" by Stanley Kubrick...
*-My my my!! What a mistake! Louis de Funès did not know how to speak English, come on!
*.
*-Is this from Kurosawa?
*-Noooo... You are on the wrong track: this is not a comic movie!
*.
*-I know! It's the American remake of Fanfan la Tulipe! With Chuck Norris instead of Gerard Philippe?
*-Yesiii !! Well done!! It is fabulous!!
*.
*Between entrechat and pas deudeu, Luc Riboisière twirled, exulted a speech in swollen pink microwaveable, doing his feet, hands and knee to gratify those who barely joined the two ends while sticking the elbows. Between the half-scoundrel elegance at the start of the banquet and the spineless vulgarity VRPBMW, Riboisière had enough gum to stroke the screen across the grain, enough gringue to get into his bone and make his stomach burst.
*.
*-Well Amandine, what a suspense tell me!
*-It's very simple, I'm quite neurotic!
*-Well Amandine, what emotion tell me! Amandine, do you know what you won?
*-A free husband?
*-Well Amandine, what humor tell me! Amandine, you will see that we are not laughing at you...
*-Is that so?
*-Amandine, you have just turned the wheel of the great Pimbo-Trip! There were also trips to Turkey, the Gaza Strip and Beirut Left Bank at stake. Amandine, you have just won a one-way ticket, and a return trip I hope, for you and your cat in the direction of the Republic of San Bananas!
*.
*-How there, not too disappointed Odile? Come on, it's just a game and you won't leave empty-handed...
*-Yeah, but in the meantime I look like an apple in front of eight hundred million viewers!
*-I see that you are a good player, Odile! To reward you for your courage and your sportsmanship, we offer you...
*-Money?
*-No, better than that! B comme Bonheur offers you, dear Odile, the first twelve volumes of the Great History of France of the 20th century!
*- Say, luckily I can read.
*-With, hold on tight Odile, an exceptional reduction on the fabulous free credit which will allow you to acquire the forty-eight other volumes at a particularly advantageous rate!
*.
* Under decibels of hairspray and the scent of applause, the white-blue smile of Catherine's union fare, the Catherine on TV, shone with all its megawatts. It was her job, her turbine that she was being paid for. Dressed in a Lacroix Christmas tree, she made the Easter egg on the plateau, working for the ascension of the audience. Right in the middle of cathodic eucumenism.
*.
*"The Battle of the Bulge"
*"June 68"
*"The liberation of the 10th arrondissement"
*"Fashion under Vichy"
*"The exodus of black feet"
*"The Popular Front"
*"The life of the hairy"
*.
*-Who is it? Is it a live advertisement for the pension fund?
*-But Mom, what are you doing here? It's a TV set!
*-Ah is that your mother? I told myself that there was a family resemblance...
*-What do you want, before I was born she refused to take the pill, now she refuses to have her hair dyed. Anyway, well, it's screwed up. I will never present the 8 p.m. newspaper...
*.
*-What's going on?
*-How so? Just because you go to the PBS and you don't know the right answers doesn't mean that it gives you the right to no longer recognize your old mother!
*-But no Mom, you know that has nothing to do with it!
*-And you want to drag me through the mud, me your mother, in front of ten million viewers! Without counting Madame Beudabotte who will again comment on your education... I will have to emigrate to another parish by your fault! I will become a recluse, a miserable bench of society!
*-Dimiyons, dimiyons, it's easy to say! It's like in the National Assembly, if you count those who sleep, that already seriously deflates the statistics...
*.
*-Mr presenter, I will not let you imply that Amandine did not receive a full education!
*-Total? I had to read the complete Laurence Pernoud with a flashlight to understand motherhood!
*-Please don't take advantage of our being here to say shameful things!
*-First, it's your fault Amandine, I told you to continue your studies and listen to the game of a thousand francs more often!
*.
*-Madame, calm down! Ouch! Damn, this is the last time I agree to do a live show... I knew the director wanted my skin!
*-Scoundrel! Show me your questions! Admit that you conspired to make my poor girl ridicule herself in front of ten million viewers!
*-Eye! Sixty millions, madam! Ahhh! Sixty million eight hundred thousand!
*-I who took you for a good boy, you do not even have the gallantry to let my daughter win, who is still single! The cooking has limits!
*.
*For the first time, Amandine gulped the viped ease of the class not just that to do. A B like, we didn't give a damn about Bliss for Happiness. The airplane had taken her by the hand, to take her to other skies. Non-smoking belted transitional stage, semi-purgatory with atmosphere and outside temperature.
*The corridor was straight, mellow, and the atmosphere boring enough to be comfortable. We pecked cocoon there, thinking of our mother and the gas that we had not closed (for women), watching (for men) the ¥ il seated on level G, the vazeviens of the hostesses of the air, for a pillow, a kawa or a libidinous old cognac.
*Amandine knew nothing about this country. She had only grazed the juicy, icy pages of the booklets, which loaded with tropico nud-nud joie de vivre. She slammed the door on mother, calves, TV, radio and metro to venture into the great back thrill of the unknown.
*.
*Since her trip to Vancouver when she was in 5th grade, Amandine had the airports in good shape. Interfaces of peoples where we dabbled in the carpet and the multi-ethnic (and nique), still reassuring, already exotiks (and fake). We should also build the terminals closer to each other, so that we can go there to spend their vacations without taking the plane.
*The crowd, tastes and colors which, in fact, were discussing. Or ignored each other. In the absence of a common protocol, the airport was in the multi-standard. The slightest announcement stammered, the slightest door to lived / lavatories, was translated / translated, in two steps three movements, two languages ​​three dialects.
*.
*-But come on, say it, mademoiselle wanted to know if I was good with Gabrielle while she is going to be a mum to the hemisphere!
*.
*-How's that, Tom? You miss me already?
*-You preferred to take your cat to leave me alone with myself, you have to bear the consequences!
*-Humphrey needed a change of scenery, and you still have a lot of work to finish!
*-What a pleasure to see that you are working for my good! A palôt for you and a very manly blow to the fat of the cat...
*.
*-Apart from that, I just wanted to tell you that it's three in the morning '...
*-What bullshit this time difference, we should standardize all that once and for all.
*-Come on... It's not the first time you've woken me up in the middle of the night...
*.
*-Hi Tom! I arrived, it's great, isn't it?
*.
*- Madly. You could see that it was not worth it that I hold your hand during the whole trip so that you arrive whole!
*-And then you could have made bad encounters. Hey, that makes me think I have a flight attendant girlfriend.
*-Looks like what?
*-Idiot! She was completely overworked, a real pressure cooker. In the end she ended up repeating everything she said in English.
*- Like my pressure cooker is rich?
*-And since her boyfriend was both an insomniac and a German teacher, he ended up not putting up with hearing her dream with the simultaneous translation, because in addition she spoke while sleeping.
*-You have these girlfriends, anyway.
*-The guy told him"the reform of a language expert who dreams of having her ass in the air, yes. The doggie of a schizo, no!" or something like that... And he filed for divorce!
*-You are good, at least when you are in the stake, you know how to let men speak! Hello?? Amandine ?? Shit, she hung up...
*.
*-I had thought of writing you a postcard, but there were no mailboxes on the plane.
*-To hear you, it still went visibly well?
*-Not bad... But there was neither a hijacker, nor Beastie Boys, nor a pack of journalists on a press trip, it still lacked a bit of atmosphere.
*.
*Amandine scanned the promiscuitary horizon. The adventure: neither Dutch buses in front of the sex-stalls on Boulevard de Clichy, nor Japanese ristous holding plan tromeu rilega teyefala as the apple of slanted eyes or lifeline. La Palmer loved immigrants, political refugees, she found herself a tourist.
*There are desires that don't wait. To sit down again, take a shower, marry a mattress after a plane trip (the company's advertisements were nevertheless categorical: with the new arrangement of the business class armchairs, Amandine should have been in better shape on arrival than 'at the start. Bullshit, will). In the absence of a Sixth Avenue Line, she parried in the most hurried taxi. Head for the hotel and sail the rowboat. The chauffeur would play her indigent native, or native to pittowesqu 'ewudition. There was even a chance that he was well behaved (for a taxi), and a Parisian had to take the planet from behind for that to happen.
*Prepare for the most urgent. Take a dip, feel the flow and see if the hot sand smells as good as the press wants to write it. Quite a listing.
*Nowadays, there is no longer any question of spending the holiday turning your ass. Sayonara the stay at the ancestor, wiped off the map the vacation at the gland, obsolete summer good franquette: the club put you back in shape as much as in question. The documentation was formal: sports, leisure, activities with sports, leisure and activities.
*.
*After the astrolomorphopsy and the walk on the hot coals somewhere towards the steps of Tiberias, the modern Executive with high potential - voluntary chin and larded ankle of the umbilical elastic - came, once again, to increase its efficiency.
*A jump from the angel to infinity. Really spiritual, devilishly religious in terms of experience. Collective suicide of fanaticized flocks who have come to go to their own ends, their feet strapped in with a giant garter belt. Everyone wanted to know their limits.
*"Excellent idea that this new sport! It will give a boost to the rubber industry and bring back my actions in the counters of Indochina."
*.
*-Bordel, I have the nuts to eat my balls or take my cock in this fucking elastoc to the con!
*-Well done for your face, you just had to register at HEC! At least, I had nothing to do with it, it was either that or the reconversion contract with Felix Potin.
*.
*- Incredible that we have to go to this damn country to have the right to express through physical effort our instinct to win.
*- Like what, democracy is a very relative concept...
*.
*- Shit, what if the elastic band broke?
*-Don't mess around, this thing is Swedish steel!
*- Damn, what if the bridge cracks? Or if the guerrillas blew it up?
*-But no, I saw that it supports ten troop trucks at the same time, it is marked!
*-What if my mother saw me shit in my pants? I can't go back!
*-She would see that you're not a real fighter, that's it.
*.
* And if this kind of top model for big evenings that Amandine had at his feet turned out to be too long for the ravine, all that would still be sufficiently elastic to return the remains of his macabre stiff to the sender immediately, in a final challenge. to the laws of gravity. It was then that she vowed to lead a cozy life and never go on vacation again...
*.
*"But Mom, what are you doing here?"
*"A lovely cove nestled in the hollow of a little corner of paradise they said... It would miss more than a landing of boat people and that would be the bouquet."
*"POUTCH, ruthless laundry with tough stains!"
*"Do you know the beaches of Bophuthatswana?"
*"Live and die for the Fatherland", the last poems of General-President Sancho-Alvarez (published by Universal Liberal Thought).
*"It's starting to do well: I bathed alone in the Seychelles, I fucked a bigoudene on a port in winter, I suffered the assaults of packs of Bedouin women in heat at forty degrees in the shade, without shadow. But for crying out loud, I've never been able to have the sea, the sex and the sun AT THE SAME TIME!"
*.
*-What a dream land!
*-It's true, there's everything here! The sea, the sun, a sure power, a real political consensus and even no social charges!
*-Everything to encourage companies to be more efficient! Freedom is not necessarily where the left is trying to make us believe!
*.
*-It's not bad this country, I would like to stay there for good!
*-But you're crazy! Do you want to become an immigrant, or what ??
*.
*.
*Amandine examined this curious crossing of Pancho Villa and Sapper Camembert. Metallic poultry department, the San Bananas has applied the recipes of the other two thirds of the world. Wrapped up in his uniform, his helmet flush with the saucier, the little mute had, since he had decided to let his mustache grow, to shave his ideas off every day. He had probably even found a way to wax them permanently, because if the insterstellar bullshit of some was pushing back the ends of the galaxy, his had to go no further than the tip of his gun.
*.
*-Hello Mademoiselle, your papers please!
*-Miracle! Finally someone who speaks English...
*-What do you think, we took training courses in linguistic psychology. This is because the army's credits have increased.
*- Kidding aside, is this an invisible camera thing?
*-Don't start playing smart! Your papers!
*-I see that you have not yet learned English humor. And already there is less please, the discipline is slackening!
*-Delivery yourself or it's something else that you will have less! Papers!
*-What are you twitching then! We cannot say that you are working for local tourism. Next year I am going to North Korea, it will do your feet...
*.
*-What do you want? Health booklet, credit card, orange card...
*- Nothing but your passport.
*-Between us, it was well worth it that I name the RATP if it was to be checked. Or you didn't want me to feel out of place, it's too sweet!
*-The Subway? But Thanks to God and to General-President Sancho-Alvarez, we are working in the open!
*-You should come to Paris to do Mairie d'Issy / Porte de la Chapelle, I'm sure you would make a whole bunch of little comrades in the local tide.
*-To go abroad? Sergeant Garcia-Ampudia and I will never betray General-Pre...
*-I know, don't stop wasting your time controlling me! You look a lot more like illegal immigrants than I do...
*.
*.
*-Frankly Amandine, don't you think you're exaggerating? Leave without even warning me! I looked for you everywhere!
*.
*-Tell me at least that you are not alone in this country!
*-You know, I'm past the age that you care about my virginity...
*-Don't tell me you're alone here! Did you have to make friends in Paris?
*-Well there were two tickets, so I took Humphrey.
*-It's true, you're really not very social! Already when you were little you had a hard time making friends your age.
*-You are funny! Going for a week, you have to be able to free yourself! My girlfriends couldn't.
*-It's true that you still haven't made up your mind to work. It was well worth stopping your studies!
*-You make me laugh with your pension as a colonel's widow! It's not the crisis for everyone...
*.
*-I can really win more at a quiet TV game, I have to find you on my heels!
*-Well I'm on my knees! You're lucky I was able to find a charter for this damn country!
*-That's it, you're jealous because I'm going alone! You shouldn't worry, I would have given you a detailed report on my return.
*-You would still have had to be able to come home, don't you know?
*- Knowing what? I don't really read Fig-Mag anymore. Did you go to the hairdresser?
*-A diplomatic crisis has just broken out between the government of San Bananas and ours! I knew the dogmatic socialists, but not at this point!
*-It's good, if there's a coup d'etat with hostages, we'll be together...
*.
*-It's really starting to do well!
*.
*-What vocabulary! Forgive me for worrying from what happens to my only daughter.
*-But don't worry, I took a change of clothes, and even condoms!
*-But don't speak so loud, we could be heard!
*-It's true that when it comes to looks, you cultivate a lot of discretion...
*.
*-I was hoping to spend a quiet week, finally alone! And even at the other end of the planet I fall on you!
*-Only?! Won't you tell me you didn't have a friend to go with you?
*-To have her hold my hand?
*-After all, it's not bad. As I know you, you would have left in the company of a North African"friend" with a name impossible to remember.
*-By fact Mom, do you have your passport in order? Sometimes you're not in a regular situation.
*-These are problems that do not even occur to you, but the immigrants and the customs officers of San Bananas do not care about American legislation!
*-And then what, I'm not alone here, there's a lot of people... Even cops.
*-This is proof that we are safe! At least without me, you would only have died of hunger and not attacked by thugs...
*.
*"Bill Palmer IV, the return"
*"Life at sea, what a foot!"
*.
*.
*"Don't walk on the grass, fix it!"
*The Mother, leaned like a fairy towards Amandine's stroller. The competition was fierce. She judged on coins with an urgent glance, imagined the papa, then came to her senses: HIS noughts and crosses was really the most beautiful. He was still young, and the oum was not sufficiently trained not to feel this thrill in all categories when his offspring crossed the pacifier with a challenger. But his doubts would melt into mush as soon as the mustard learned to read (very lively and way ahead of his age, have you noticed too?). One day he would become, for a runaway or a firecracker in the corner of his beak, the most cruel child of all time that his mother has ever had. Better not think about it just yet.
*The demographics were getting curious. There were hardly any more but immigrants and Petainistes to put their children in the plural. The first, because they liked it, the second because Louis Pauwels had never explained which way we took the pill. Amandine wondered if there were in France as many Arabs as there were fascists, and as many Cheb Kader furrows in the disc bins as there were lines on the side in private schools.
*"Cyrille, Donatien! Would you like to be quiet!"
*Tom had been severely traumatized by childbirth, much more than Amandine for that matter. He was a sensitive boy who knew how to push synergy very far. It is true that the hard-gore aspect of the thing did not fit well with the cutesy and dripping imagery of the childbirth. Whatever, Amandine's mother was happy (Tom had managed to be an orphan), although she preferred a certified cassock collage before any negotiations.
*Maybe becoming a mother didn't necessarily make you stupid. It made following the advice of Florence Pernoud, investing in gendered layers (a high-tech sector, just like laundry), learning in Parents the movements to resonate the globes and - to be honest - a little fall back into childhood. Even so, Amandine had felt with high heart her navel which was stretching out, this presence taking its right in the bosom of her belly, this blistered balloon.
*.
*.
*"I remember, it wasn't that long ago... Oh cat, are you listening to me? Obviously, you can't understand. Yet there were quite a few healthy and vigorous fellows who made me cringe , you have to believe that it was not for nothing. But you're still the only man not to have let me down. Here, put this on, let me see if it suits you. You shouldn't catch a cold..."
*Amandine was no longer really a girl, but she was already old. It compensates. Every day, she had put her life off until the next day, numbing like a crumbling day. Her girlfriends were married, the phone rang a little less often. Men lose their hair, not women. So they invented wrinkles...
*.
*-What lucky mother Amandine... The great trips across the oceans, it's always for the same!
*-I would have stayed longer, but I thought you would miss me! I had to tell you all about it.
*-I always told you that you should be a reporter.
*-You would have seen! The beach, the mega-sun for families...
*-You were like a rooster in stock if I understand correctly.
* -And hold on tight, apart from Humphrey, there was nobody!
*.
*Finally alone. Far from the men, the women were very different. While they were drinking football or having beer, they took the opportunity to talk about boyfriends, rags or travel souvenirs lying on glossy paper.
*.
*-You are shit anyway, you could have taken me with you!
*-You're ill? There were cameras, the whole of France would have seen us together even though we weren't even married!
*-And then, must assume my old woman! You won't be able to hide from your mother for long that you're crazy about me and my body!
*.
*Who would have believed Amandine capable of sacrificing to the pagan rite of photo-vacancy, and to the fetishistic custom of its conservation? Rectangular carrots that hide the forest, delicately framed grafts, taken without luck on glossy paper.
*.
*-What did you do during your trip? Sunbathing and dipping all day and all night long?
*-But it's over, old lady, idle tourism! The tan goes away, the memories stay!
*-You brought us balls with snow and a virgin barometer?
*-Rigole, you really don't give a damn about the appeal of true authenticity.
*-It's true that I don't see you doing stupid tourism, not your type! A cultured girl like you.
*-Rigole, but it was a three-star club reserved for sports executives and deserving fans of challenge vacations.
*- Beaufs, what...
*.
*-Eh 'mandine, it was not really the PDA your hometown!
*-PDA, PDA... It's because we don't just treat VIPs like me!
*-You say so, as I know you, you still nibbled on the tour operator...
*-Figure you that in the village I even had a bed for myself!
*-For you alone? That must have made you funny, right?
*.
*That Amandine took the opportunity to pass on her vacation photos ("Well what Annie, doesn't that interest you?") Is basically quite incidental. The stay had been a berezina and we began to regret that the film had for once been properly engaged in the camera...
*.
*.
*-Wow! But you are Mike Vincent, the famous singer!
*-Eh yes, I came to promote my last compilation"Bestof 1961-1978, haousse megamix"
*-When I think the Americans still haven't recognized your genius...
*-Mr Henri, my producer, has prepared for the local market a Spanish version of"T'en vas pas Pamela" which should be a big hit in Europe!
*-This return of the seventies at the moment... Even Pierre Chaunu would not have dared to hope for that.
*-It's more subtle with us, the artists. It's a real quest for identity... I'm already anticipating the fashion of the 2010s!
*-And what will it be?
*-The return to the 70s.
*-You who are connected to everything that is new, you will be able to tell me if I have to put on my legs of eph 'and my platform boots to the surprise party that my cousin gives next Saturday?
*.
*-My God! I had to go to the other side of the planet to meet such a charming young lady! Maybe we even see each other in Paris every day without even noticing each other!
*-Ah well, you also go to Target?
*-Look: you an adventurer of modern times, a traveler of the absolute, braving danger far from any civilization. And I, Mike Vincent, this popular singer adored by the crowds, tracked down by the groupies who tear up my shirts. And yet, yet, we are both also alone.
*-What a harsh environment that show biz. But all the same, the fame, the newspaper covers, it all must be so exhilarating!
*-Ah you know, the groupies, the notoriety, the autographs, the interviews with OK Magazine, all that is quite illusory.
*-What do you say? Under the garment of light of the idol of young people would also beat a man's heart?
*-About man, I am preparing a tour throughout Europe, how about accompanying me?
*.
*-Shhh !! Look like nothing, I'm on a secret mission...
*-®®®El Signor Jacques Vabre ???
*-How so?! Do you know about it?
*-Ma que, ouane Lady came this morning to get coffee! She left the bad grains!
*-Billions of blue blistering barnacles! Gloria Jeans overtook me again!
*.
*-®What can I get you?
*-Do you have Coca-Cola?
*-We have more than contraband Canada Dry. The Americans refuse to sell us Coca-Cola until Ramon and Miguel convert their cocaãers farms into wild strawberry fields...
*.
*.
*Mike Vincent had taken advantage of the return of the crank of the pie servers. The public had unanimously exhumed him from his fleeting soap-bubble memories, just as he believed he had gotten rid of forever a full decade before. Of course, cryonics - waiting for better days - had had a few hiccups, but the makeup this made up for the abyss of time that. Mike had stacked up for a ride and was savoring the newfound baraka, without really knowing where came this power of oblivion in free fall.
*"What a bitch I'm doing, Amandine thought. Three more years to shoot behind this peroxide has-been! I should never have told him that I was unemployed and that I had taken dance lessons when I was in Well, now it's going to be her disco cover of"Honey I love you, honey I love you"... Damn, I hate oriental choreography, it sucks my lumbar... As long as my friends have farted their TVs."
*A turn of the kidneys, a few dance steps, it didn't go very far, but it was enough to create an illusion. While Mike Vincent alternated surfing on the yeye-discobeat foam and pieces of lacrimal bravery, the swirls ensured the main body of the second zone. Strapped in their sequined mold-bumper shorts, the broken choir attendants heard a cheerful, tartignole refrain. Morale, him, intoned with both hands the blues of the moving vase.
*.
*.
*- That nobody move, it is a taking of hostages!
*-Come Amandine, let's escape!
*-You face, you valet in the pay of the sartorial power!
*-They don't have the money to buy uniforms for your friends, or they push transparency a bit further.
*-But Amandine, it's a nudist guerrilla commando! It had to fall on us...
*- Shut up, blonde! Where's the phone ?!
*.
*.
*-I warn you, if you do not release a frequency for a nudist radio station, we keep adding clothes to them every quarter of an hour until death ensues!
*- Come on, be reasonable! The entire FM band is occupied by America's voice and military communications. And we already increased the price of your boxer shorts significantly last month!
*-Do not play smart! We still have a whole stock of bathrobes to stick on the backs of your two marioles! And you know how many satin shirts a month your Mike Vincent pays?
*-No! Not bathrobes, don't do that! At least give them a chance...
*-Imagine the impact of his death on the foreign press! Give in or next time, it will be with Perfecto and Naf Naf t-shirt that we will cook them for you tourists!
*-OK, OK, OK... You won again. Damn, that will teach us to welcome stars of the American song, I knew very well that we were going to have more problems.
*.
*-But finally! You want the butter and the money of the weed...
*-And the cream with it! We add to our demands the creation of a nudist class on all national railway lines!
*-No negotiation until the hostages are released, they have nothing to do with this case!
*-It's up to you! In thirty seconds they will also have an authentic local hand-knitted poncho and in ten minutes they will be finished off for you with a Burberry's raincoat lined with numbers from the New York Times!
*-Manure! You will regret it one day!
*- Think about it: a real poncho in llama hair!
*-Very good, you will have what you want. But above all, do not harm the hostages...
*.
*-Mr Minister, we have to intervene, or these assholes from the Nudist Liberation Front are going to suffocate this Mike Vincent and his bitch and put us in a hell of a mess!
*-What?! Colonel, they also want free distributions from the Penthouse at the entrance to the polling stations, or else they'll put on a Breton raincoat and a Finnish puffer jacket!
*-That the polling stations, it's not really a problem. What worries me is that they demand a topless uniform for the military police.
*-Colonel, this can't go on! Get your little guys involved!
*.
*.
*-And right away, Augustino for some information.
*-Yes, thank you Pedro... Radio Nudists, it's noon!
*-At the hour of the sun, of course!
*-Yes, thank you Pedro... New arrest due to power...
*-At the expense of the textile lobby!
*-Yes, thank you Pedro... The army has just taken two nudist opponents into custody. They wanted to oppose the entry on the ground of the San Bananas with a cargo of waterproof tarpaulins intended for the army.
*-And again, it is to be feared that their lawyers will be forced by a judicial power at the boot of the shadow powers, to plead in a black dress...
*-On the other hand, I believe that the nudist cause is progressing in other areas?
*-Yes, absolutely Pedro, since the Reformed Dissident Church of San Bananas has just published an encyclical authorizing marriage in monokini and providing -in the medium term- the replacement of the jute cassock by a ventilated tule jacket. .
*-It's already a step...
*-Yes, absolutely, Pedro. And to finish, know that the ninth Nudist International will be held on a secret date in a place which it is of course impossible for me to reveal. See you soon for more news from the front!
*.
*"Do not forget that Radio Nudist is an associative cultural radio station. To maintain absolute independence, Radio Nudist refuses all advertising resources. Help us to remain free, join our association! And now, the programs of the after- noon: from 2pm to 3pm, the panorama of the day, with an anthology of nudist literature published by Editions de la feuille de vigne. From 3pm until 4pm, a minute of silence in memory of the martyrs of the nudist cause Today: Michel Polnareff We will continue to music until 8pm, with notably"Bodies" by the Sex Pistols,"Nue au soleil" by Brigitte Bardot,"Stripped" by Depeche Mode and"Et vlan, passe me the sponge"- in a very stripped down version - by Dick Phimosis and the Premature Ejaculators. 8:00 p.m., time at which we will find the newspaper reduced to the essential for the exposure of the news. At 8:01 p.m., in the frame from the annals of nudist revisionism, two of the greatest American naturists thus will address a thorny question:"what if the original sin had never existed?". You can now ask your questions by phone at 90 60 90. And immediately, we find Julio for the Top 69!"
*"Nudist friends, once again, our cause is threatened! Yesterday evening, a group of naturist skin heads were taken away by a commando who wanted to force them to grow their hair back on the spot. Faced with their refusal, the individuals coated their bodies with Petrol Hahn hair lotion "special enriched formula.” Faced with this odious act, probably signed by
*Shiite fundamentalists or traders of the Path, Radio Nudist calls its listeners to a large demonstration in front of the headquarters of the textile union. Radio Nudiste demands that the government take measures as soon as possible to curb the importation of wigs and sunglasses.
*Next Saturday, a big gala will be held sponsored by our frequency where many artists will come to express their support for nudist combat. Many attendees, proper attire required."
*-Hey not bad! What gave you the idea to get kidnapped like this?
*-Ah... I never cite my sources.
*-And with Mike Vincent, you don't get bored, my old...
*-I told myself that now is the time or never.
*-Look at your paper: clear, concise, it goes straight to the point. And then there are hardly any complicated words. It's not literary criticism. And frankly I'm not used to giving compliments!
*-But it is the fruit of long years of work...
*-And you write a lot more:"When one of the terrorists, feverish and fanatic, bloodshot eyes, savagely seized me, Mike Vincent tried to intervene. Brutes that you are! Cried out! he listened only to his courage. This young girl happened to be there by chance, and she was never ranked in the Top 50!". The sentence is a bit long, but there is style!
*-I have two or three other things like that, if you want. But for my personal notebooks, it won't be before my death.
*-But you know that with a sense of formula and great reporting like yours you could make your hole in the house and find a key position of decision-maker with responsibilities. Do you have a career plan?
*.
*-Amandine, have you gone to see other newspapers? Because I won't hide from you that your article on the kidnapping of Mike Vincent is concrete!
*-Frankly, it would have been cowardly of me to go and offer it to the Universe, which never offered me anything to subscribe, neither quartz clock nor pocket translator, nothing!
*-You see, I know lots of journalists who come back from Beirut with an interview with a Druze militiaman not even known to the general public. You at least, it affects the world, and there is almost nothing to rewrite. Not like some.
*- Stop there! No rewritings with me, or I'll see the Thursday Kidnapping by offering them half the price!
*-OK, we will not touch it, besides it is very well your paper... By the way, you have an idea for a good title, right?
*-Yes, but I think it's not in your means.
*-Say it?
*-Only if you order me another article, can I try to arrange to cover a holp-up with Bob Fernand if you want?
*-Listen, we just learned that the nudists of San Bananas have just escaped and stripped their guardians. You could go back there and investigate the field. Provoke them by disguising yourself as an Iranian, it shouldn't take long for you to be kidnapped a second time. There may still be something to learn, who knows...
*.
*.
*That was how love was. It makes you stupid, but it's still beautiful. A strange monoped that did not stand up well, smelled of the foot and for a bit would never have existed. We went hunting, with the choice of weapons (landing net, Golf GTI, Almanach Vermot). Some stayed in the right lane, others blasted the limitations, but all usually ended up isolating at least one second-hand specimen with guaranteed parts and labor. We pampered it during the prowling, we polished it, we forgot the emptying. Often, one of the two passengers (it is better to be two in love, we feel less alone) wanted to increase. Tom wanted a boy, Amandine didn't want to hear anything. Great report above all. A press card was less expensive to use than a baby, and classified more than a bottle warmer, even with an RS232 socket.
*That was how love was. Funny. To think that if Amandine had fallen for the washing machine that a polite and polished Conforame salesman was trying to negotiate for her, she would never have met Tom. Tom would never have felt his hair, bitten his mouth, tried to sleep on his shoulder (a little bony after all). They would never have listened to Satie while keeping themselves warm with all their strength, and wanting it to be like in a great Panavision movie, with the music playing at the same time. You should always keep some dirty laundry with you, just in case. But Amandine had stopped on the way, she had put the prison on his finger but claimed that his descendants were neither on the contract nor on the agenda. His report had raised his head and lowered his ideas. Amandine condemned her couple to never kiss useful.
*.
*-Tom, don't start your circus again!
*.
*-Amandine, yet I want you to need me...
*-Say rather that you need that I want you. You really are too childish as a guy.
*-But Amandine, you saved me ten years: before knowing you, I was five. Now I have fifteen!
*-Happy to hear you say it, you could never take off your mother's skirts. The day we have a child, you will wonder how I could have done.
*-A child? You mean that slimy pink little thing that bawls and wriggles at more or less fixed intervals?
*-You want to keep ruining yourself in condoms, right?
*-But listen, this is the first time that we argue and you already want to pamper. You get the job done.
*-You don't want me to let you know about the ineffable joys of fatherhood and that we count our retirement points all together?
*-OK, we'll fuck tonight. But if I realize on the ultrasound that he doesn't have my pretty ears, I pass the fetus on to Catholic help...
*.
*-I need only want something, and immediately you demand the opposite! Yesterday again you dragged me to see the Pink Floyd while for geriatrics we could very well see a great subject on TV. You absolutely had to piss me off.
*-Amandine, I have always been understanding with you, even the day you came back siphoned off from the Big Blue and you wanted me to drop your toes in the bathtub while you were doing your feet against the wall .
*-Don't make me laugh, I agreed to put on my fishnet stockings ten thousand times, when things get stuck and it's shit to clean between the meshes! So frankly, you can accept that we have a child...
*.
*-But Amandine, I want to live with you!
*.
*-I want to have children with you, to see you when you wash your hair, when you make a face, when you take down the trash...
*-If I'm the one who has to do the chores, you might as well stay alone!
*-But no, it will be great for two, you'll see. I will put cotton between your toes so that your nail polish will dry...
*-You go to the movies too much.
*-Just, we'll go see Japanese films in the Latin Quarter, with my loyalty card we will make great savings on festivals!
*-But it's not worth living together for these things!
*-And taxes then, you think about it? And when the tax collector has passed and things go really badly, we'll eat these famous sandwiches with fries at the Gare du Nord... Amandine, don't leave me!
*-But there is no question of leaving you, idiot.
*-So you want us to become old together ?? We will play Scrabble, we will watch TV, we will read Jean d'Ormesson and we will campaign for American songs. Amandine, I want to get spoiled with you...
*.
*-You never see the practical side of things! Less rent and more ironing for me!
*-Do you understand that I need to share someone's existence? Here, who tells you that I am not a superhero with a double life known only to me, weighing like an unbearable burden on my shoulders! Huh, what would you do in that case?
*-I don't know... I'll write an article.
*-As in Superman, always a little journalist in love with a myth! You've never written a single piece of paper on my canvases and you're spreading over pages on your Mike Vincent! You could at least take a pseudonym!
*-But stop swelling me with this kind of tantouze! I don't even like it! And I'm a media woman, not your press officer!
*-And first, Mike Vincent, who tells you it's not me? What if you learned that Tom Lacan was just a blanket and all I had to do was shout"metamorphoooose!" and turn on myself to turn blond and turn into a youth idol?
*-And the children? You don't even want children!
*-But when you're a defender of the galaxy, do you think we have time to have kids?
*-Stop a bit, you're not funny. And then when I will be the mother of a large family, I will have the Legion of Honor!
*-Still sexism, like. And as a future father of a large family, what would I be entitled to...
*.
*.
*-So, for the next issue of the supplement"Univers Magazine"...
*.
*-... The editorial board had thought of the salaries of freelancers and a major file on immigration.
*-Ah yes... A file on immigration, not stupid!
*-Next, that brings us to issue 198, which will be dedicated to the great single market of 2092, successful women and an immigration survey.
*-But uh, tell me... Isn't that likely to duplicate the survey on immigration from three weeks ago?
*- With all due respect, Ms. Palmer, it is because the file will serve as a springboard for the following week's investigation...
*-Bah, after all, if it pisses off Jean-François Kahn...
*-For number 199, it will be the new Sicav for the year 2000, the Indians of North America and a large free forum on immigration.
*-Say, you don't think it will start to do a bit well, right?
*-American Indians? Ah yes, maybe...
*-Immigration I meant...
*-But not at all, it will be necessary to give a little space to the reactions which will not have failed to provoke our big file"Should we be afraid of the immig..."
*-Yes, you... And for number 200, why don't you ask them to give me a silver blanket with a huge"200", that would be classy and original at the same time, right?
*-But it is that that risks to pose problems for the model!
*-How's that, the model?
*-The thing is, with a big"200" that would cross the cover, we risk having more room for the hook of our large monthly special immigration notebook...
*.
*-Ideas, always have ideas here!
*-We could do a file on clandestine integration, that would change us...
*-Uh yes, Sylvie, by the way, take a doubt out of my mind... Sales are dropping and Meursault tells advertisers that the number of readers is increasing, how are you doing?
*-A study has shown that our report last month on erotica after fifty caused a marked increase in the birth rate of Uni-Mag readership.
*-And that necessarily has an impact on the number of readers within the family! I hadn't thought of it.
*-In addition, we have graciously subscribed to primary schools, the neurological service of Pitie, the MJCs and all the Sonacotra, as you requested.
*-What bothers me all the same, is that every week we get 142 readers per printed copy. We are bordering on collectivism.
*- Especially since Marxism-Leninism fits badly with the media plans of advertisers. I'm going to ask that Huma-Dimanche be removed from our press service, it will already deflate the statistics of left-wing readers...
*.
*-Tell me Sylvie, what am I learning by reading page 26 of the next issue !?
*.
*-Many things Madam Director, it is very instructive!
*-But what the hell! A file on cavities while Coulon-Cotton chewing-gum Ltd has just bought us the back cover of the last issue of"the Juniors Universe"! Your journalists want me dead, or what?
*-I think it's an idea from one of our occasional freelancers that we only employ from time to time, it won't happen again!
*-It only half surprises me... Reassure me Sylvie, you haven't already paid that idiot?
*.
*- I quote from memory:"Are the voters on the right who eat the most foie gras and those on the left who prefer calendos?"
*-But Madam Director, you had nevertheless requested that we order a survey on US people and food...
*-Yes I know, with a big game-test for summer:"Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are". But it's still a little light as a conclusion...
*-But we also reveal that it is the jockeys who eat the least horse, the vegetarians the least meat, the cats the most mice and the illegal immigrants the most couscous.
*-These journalists, you always have to be behind their backs... By the way, do I have appointments for tomorrow?
*-You are invited to the radio at the"Grand Carrefour de la Presse". A great debate will pit you against your colleagues Alain GlÅtzenbaÅm and Fernand Boiron-Loisel.
*-More those two? You will still have to get angry with them... And what will it be about, that I prepare the subject a little?
*-At the beginning, they thought to structure the debate around the theme"Decline of France and immigration". But they gave up, it will be on the Tour de France.
*-But I don't know anything about cycling! Why do they always sabotage everything?
*- That is to say that they had already made a round table"Immigration and decline of France". However, for more than three days there has been no racist crime, no destruction of mosque, no elections in Algeria. And as at the last news the immigrants would always refuse to integrate, there was no new element to stick to the news...
*.
*.
*-Amandine Lacan-Palmer, hello...
*-Palmer-Lacan...
*-Yes... You have been the wife of Tom Lacan, the famous painter for thirty years?
*-Well, not exactly. Rather, he is my husband, since I wanted to get married long before I knew him.
*-Yes, so what is extraordinary about you is that you have a completely original background?
*-That's saying a lot. I met my husband who was then just one of those mediocre daubers such as those who haunt the television sets...
*-And you became a full-time journalist, while in your spare time you were the muse, finally the muse, of Tom Lacan?
*-Somehow, and the rest of the time I was his wife. Then I wanted to orient myself towards literature. I had thought of a practical guide intended for mothers anxious to give a correct education to their young children.
*-And that's how you got the idea to write"Little baby will grow up: a guide for Catholic mothers"?
*-Absoutely! And that's when I realized that I was missing the material for the book, the essential in short: to have children. Which, you will agree, significantly delayed the publication of the book.
*-But how is your couple doing since, because, tell me, what a success in bookstores!
*-The book served as a springboard for my husband's career: he has just won several contracts to exhibit in prestigious maternity hospitals, and I myself intend to table a bill in parliament with a view to increasing the number of triplets . France, the family is back!
*.
*-Paul-Henri de Lavalière, you are a very controversial character...
*-Not at all, I have never been controversial! My detractors are nothing but dough and joyless!
*- Come on, admit it, you are not unanimous!
*-"The shipwreck of the family of the country of France", my last book, only provoked a vulgar plot in intellectual and cosmopolitan circles...
*-Just, I was going to come there... If I understood correctly, you are proposing a series of measures in order to safeguard US surnames?
*- Exactly, the number of surnames is decreasing, in particular through the interplay of marriages. This is a real loss of cultural identity.
*-For example, the grandchildren of Madame Palmer-Lacan, author of the"Guide for non-single mothers" only bear the name of Lacan. That's right?
*-Although Palmer's is not very American... It's a bad example.
*-Yes... So I read page 136"Since we are at home, why not make the acceptance of a threatened American name such as Prosper as a condition for entering school for Jewish and Maghrebian children? Lucas or Alfred Plougastel?"
*- Especially with the galloping supernaturality of Israeli and Muslim women, names like La Menthe or Dugenoux would be brought up to date in a few generations. It would also be an excellent factor of assimilation.
*-SOS Racisme still expressed some reservations, and apostrophized the government on this subject...
*-More digressions from an imbecile and third-worldist left! Besides, your Mr. Martin Luther King does not even have an African name, so he does not come to piss off the American!
*-Stay seated, please... Uh, yes... Your program doesn't end there, I think?
*- I also plan to assign particle names to those who volunteer for 72 months military service in the parachute commandos. After that, don't come and pretend I'm a racist!
*.
* -Roger-Antoine Chimeric, welcome to our set, you are the guest of honor on our program on the family. This because of your recent marriage, is that right?
*-Perfectly, I just married the daughter of my new publisher.
*-It's your ninth union, I think?
*-Yes, already! How time passes! And when you love, you don't count!
*-What health... And I believe that you have as much humor in your last book"Flouze", published in the editions of the sheet of sorrel?
*-Not at all. It is a very serious novel, serious I would say, which poses the great questions of our time.
*-What big questions? However, it did not seem to me that you had spoken of the media...
*-No, questions like stocks or bonds, gold or stone, sell or buy, big or small, rich or poor, white or black, wig or implants, Neuilly or Avenue Foch, with or without tank...
*-Yes? Amandine Palmer-Lacan, mother of eight children and author of the"Guide to the new Jewish mother" would like to ask you a question...
*-Mr. Chimeric, I would have liked to know if your wife married you for your money?
*-Why shouldn't money be part of the personality? Again this anti-success racism that penalizes France on international markets! Believe me, my wife would have had to be paid very dearly for her to agree to remain poor...
*.
*-Marcel Grainblet, you wrote your novel with your wife, with four hands if I dare say so?
*-Perfectly, just as we conceived our child together.
*-Just, we were talking earlier about"Learn to make your own child" by Amandine Palmer-Lacan, your work is also devoted to the family?
*-Without deflowering the subject, we can say that it is the story of a woman...
*-Who do I think it is about a young Corsican literary director?
*-Not at all.
*-Ah...
*-Everything starts with the mistake of Judith Coquard, a dynamic single mother. In a hurry to go to the newsstand in order to be the first on the real estate ads, she runs away from the maternity ward with the wrong baby...
*-It is therefore a sharp attack against the housing crisis in the Paris region as well as a violent satire on maternal instinct?
*- All the more so as she will raise this child for twenty-eight years without realizing that the latter is black.
*-It's extraordinary! For twenty-eight years ??
*- Until the day when a mysterious anonymous letter comes to restore the terrible truth.
*-It is indeed, Marcel Grainblet, a scene of great dramatic intensity...
*-And suddenly, everything jostles in the head of this woman carried away by a terrible fate. What to do? Keep to herself this burden which weighs on her shoulders, or else reveal to the one she has loved during all these years his true origin...
*-Especially since the latter, who obviously does not suspect anything, became a young law graduate and began a very promising career as an international lawyer?
*-Yes, because we want to blackmail Judith Coquard: what would happen to her son if the floor learned that he is black? And how would he react himself, who listens only to Chopin and Vivaldi?
*-We almost blame ourselves for smiling so much at the situation, but this passage is still quite earthy, isn't it? Finally, it is Andre Coquard himself who will learn that he is black?
*- Ten years later by accidentally watching James Brown on television. In a fit of rage, he murders his mother, stews her and devours her unceremoniously. He will become president of the Central African Republic under the name of Ng'bwana Bougoumbou. But, broken, he will never manage to forget.
*-It's ultimately a great lesson in friendship between peoples... And finally, tell me Marcel Grainblet, it's still a little autobiographical, isn't it?
*.
*-Maurice Blanchart, you are a journalist at Actuel and a sociologist. Could you say that your new comic book catechism sums up the quarrel between the ancient and the modern?
*-Yes, a certain conservative episcopate has always been out of step with disadvantaged young people.
*-Let's specify that you describe Jesus as a young rap singer from the city of four thousand, the Romans as police officers and the Pharisees as so many inhabitants of the 7th district... You are not afraid not to shock the religious views of some?
*-My goal is only to bring up to date an obsolete and dusty catechism, to make the young people of our time say in a way"Jesus Christ, he ensures a max!"
*-Yes? Amandine Palmer-Lacan, mother of eight children and author of the"Guide to the Hebrew spoken language for parents of teenagers" particularly appreciated the passage of the multiplication of the loaves, didn't she?
*-Indeed, I would like to read this excerpt, at the same time -I believe- young and so fresh! So, page 4...
*"The posse to Jesus said to him: Yo man, it's really a hassle! The sound-system is finished, the last tromeu has just been torn off and the whole audience is dead!"
*"You don't upset the guys like that, says MC Jesus. We have enough money left to buy two fish-burger at Mac Do"
*"Damn You, two fish-burgers, that's the dàche your thing! If we don't manage to give them a decent meal plan, there will be a fight, that's for sure."
*"You're really sissy! You're not real rebels, or what, Jesus answered. Sit down and put down your ghetto-blasters, I feel I have a hell of a groove tonight!"
*"Damn, arrrrrràte! How did you do it? You saw all the fish-burgers, that's at least five thousand! We're even going to be able to bring some for the girls in Mouloud and Nourredine! 'are we going to eat, or what?"
*"Listen to my killer lyrics, Jesus said: you see, God tells you something not complicated, be cool and don't take the lead in the gang on the back staircase. Just tell the DJ to send the beat, I'm going to improvise a hellish rap song for you on a dub mix of Public Enemy! Alleluyah!"
*.
*-Jean Lerond, we can say that this time you have left the beaten track of the novel a little...
*-Perfectly,"The child, being and nothingness" is the result of long years of scientific research on education.
*-Indeed, it is quite simply a gigantic job! But aren't you afraid to exasperate progressive circles?
*-You want to talk about the chapter on active methods of educating adolescents?
*- Exactly, you are not going with the back of the spoon: you are outright advocating a return to corporal punishment !?
*-I think it is a particularly effective stimulation, especially around the age of eighteen years, stimulation that our weakly social-democratic and supposedly modern societies have erected into taboo.
*- Let us also specify that the fact of having been a beaten child yourself did not in any way hamper your brilliant career as a writer... But all the same... I mean... It hurts, no?
*-You know, I am above all a pragmatist. In addition, receiving the royalist scout magazine every month, I am particularly in contact with the daily realities of US youth.
*-Yes? Amandine Palmer-Lacan, mother of eight children and author of"Read your baby's future yourself in its porridge", does not seem to agree with you entirely...
*-You know Madam, twenty-five years ago, I asked the DDASS to provide me with two twins that I entrusted to a nanny that I count in my relations.
*-So what?
*-I asked him, for a fee, that for each night pollution, the first child receives a Carambar and a Triplets badge, and the other a kick in the ass.
*-A fascinating experience in the field if I understand correctly?
*-I believe that the time is no longer dogmas and doctrines. Twenty-five years later, the twin who was beaten has just been appointed Chief Warrant Officer in the Third Infantry Division while the other is struggling miserably in a pop band. We have to stick to the facts...
*.
*Before making the zouave esthete of knot on the sofa, Patrice Kleber had traveled a lot. Then he calmed down. But not tidy so far nor lost its biting incisor of a grand reuportaire. Besides, he often went on a press trip. He would have preferred to die rather than be buried in an overly comfortable family vault.
*Amandine's mother, now quite old, loved Patrice Kleber very much. He said he defended literature and culture to the popular mass, he promoted five books a week. And that day was even better. Amandine was once again on TV. His mother never got tired of it.
*.
*.
*"Do not forget that Radio Nudist is an associative cultural radio station. To maintain absolute independence, Radio Nudist refuses all advertising resources. Help us to remain free, join our association! And now, the programs of the after- noon: from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m., the panorama of the day, with an anthology of nudist literature published by Editions de la feuille de vigne. From 3 p.m. until 4 p.m., a minute of silence in memory of the martyrs of the nudist cause Today: Michel Polnareff We will continue in music until 8pm, with in particular"Bodies" by the Sex Pistols,"Nue au soleil" by Brigitte Bardot,"Stripped" by Depeche Mode and"Et vlan, pass me the sponge"- in a *very stripped down version - by Dick Phimosis and the Premature Ejaculators. 8:00 p.m., time at which we will find the newspaper reduced to the essentials for the exposure of the news. At 8:01 p.m., in part of the annals of nudist revisionism, two of the greatest American naturists icains will address a thorny question:"what if the original sin had *never existed?". You can now ask your questions by phone at 90 60 90. And immediately, we find Julio for the Top 69!"
*That was how love was. It makes you stupid, but it's still beautiful. A strange monoped that did not stand up well, smelled of the foot and for a bit would never have existed. We went hunting, with the choice of weapons (landing net, Golf GTI, Almanach Vermot). Some stayed in the right lane, others blasted the limitations, but all usually ended up isolating at least one second-hand specimen with guaranteed parts and labor. We pampered it during the prowling, we polished it, we forgot the emptying.
*Often, one of the two passengers (it is better to be two in love, we feel less alone) wanted to increase. Tom wanted a boy, Amandine didn't want to hear anything. Great report above all. A press card was cheaper to use than a baby, and classified more than a bottle warmer, even with an RS232 socket.
*That was how love was. Funny. To think that if Amandine had fallen for the washing machine that a polite and polished Conforame salesman was trying to negotiate for her, she would never have met Tom. Tom would never have felt his hair, bitten his mouth, tried to sleep on his shoulder (a little bony after all). They would never have listened to Satie while keeping themselves warm with all their might, and wanting it to be like in a great Panavision movie, with the music playing at the same time.
*You should always keep some dirty laundry with you, just in case. But Amandine had stopped on the way, she had put the prison on his finger but claimed that his descendants were neither on the contract nor on the agenda. His report had raised his head and lowered his ideas. Amandine condemned her couple to never kiss useful.
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*FIN