.byte34,"My riches!!",34," she screams and snatches up every last gold coin. ",34,"Thanks, sucker! Here you go!",34," she shoves the baby into your hands and bolts out the door.",0
.byte"You later learn that she does this all the time and is wanted throughout the countryside. Those riches probably WERE the Jhonka's and who knows whose baby that is. Well, it's yours now.",0
;+askaboutbaby
.byte34,"This little guy's all I",13
.byte"got left. If only someone",13
.byte"would steal back all our",13
.byte"riches from that",13
.byte"filthy Jhonka.",34,0
;+askaboutfire;WIKIISWRONG
.byte34,"You need fire? A couple of",13
.byte"trees over near the",13
.byte"waterfall used to be on",13
.byte"fire. But now there's like",13
.byte"a signal lantern over there or",13
.byte"something.",34,0
.byte34,"So should I ask that",13
.byte"signal lantern?",34," you ask.",0
.byte34,"I dunno man! Whattaya want",13
.byte"from me?",34,0
;+askaboutJhonka
.byte34,"That nasty thing killed my",13
.byte"husband and took my",13
.byte"riches!!",34,0
.byte34,"I thought Trogdor killed",13
.byte"your husband,",34," you",13
.byte"interject.",0
.byte34,"Oh right. Yeah. That's",13
.byte"what I said. Trogband",13
.byte"killed my husbdor.",34,0
;+askaboutnakedned
.byte34,"Don't talk about that",13
.byte"pervert in front of the",13
.byte" baby here.",34,0
;+askaboutrobe
.byte34,"You can't have mine,",13
.byte"pervert! I'm not a nudist",13
.byte"peasant like that weirdo",13
.byte"over in west Peasantry!",34,0
;+askaboutsmell
.byte34,"What smells is junior",13
.byte"here's drawers! I gotta",13
.byte"quit feeding him so much horse.",34,0
.byte34,"And don't start asking me",13
.byte"for his diapers, sicko!",34,0
;+askabouttrogdor
.byte"I hope you kill that",13
.byte"stupid dragon. My 'Wives of",13
.byte"Squished Peasants' support",13
.byte"group would bake you a Poor",13
.byte"Gary pie if you did.",34,0
;+askabout(unknown)
.byte34,"I dunno what you're",13
.byte"talking about.",34,0
;+sleep
.byte"That's probably how the",13
.byte"first baby got here. Forget",13
.byte"it.",0
;+getgold/money
.byte"Um, that's chicken feed.",0
;+gethay
.byte"There's a huge bale a",13
.byte"couple of screens over from",13
.byte"here. Why bother stealing?",0
;+getstuff/food
.byte"Which foodstuffs?",0
;+getpillow
.byte"You don't have anywhere to",13
.byte"use it and it is rather",13
.byte"bulky, so you leave it.",0
;+give(anythingnotlisted)
.byte34,"We don't need that mess,",34,13
.byte"she says.",0
;+givetrinket
.byte"'Did you find that thing in my yard?' she asks. 'I got that thing free in a box of Plaguezees. I need some FOR REAL riches!'",0
;+givetrinket(aftergivingtrinkettoMendelev)
.byte"'Why are you holding your hand out?' she asks. 'I told you I need riches, so I can't give em away.' You don't have a trinket to give, you realize.",0
;+giveriches(aftergivingtheriches)
.byte"We did that already, and it was sort of humiliating.",0
.byte34,"Well lookit that little guy!",34," says the Innkeeper. ",34,"You want a treat, do ya? What do babies like?",34," He fishes around in his pockets.",0
.byte34,"Um, how bout my medication!",34," You grab the bottle of pills before he can force them on the baby. ",34,"Hey, those were for him!",34,0
;+givebaby(whenyoualreadyhavethepills)
.byte"You already milked that fogey for all the pills he's worth.",0
.byte34,"Okay, youngster,",34," says the decrepit old person. ",34,"Just bed on down for the night and I'm sure I'll remember to collect the fee come morning.",34,0
.byte"Night falls like a bad power point presentation.",0
.byte"What an uncomfortable bed! You sleep for maybe 20 minutes before the extreme pain in your spine forces you to get up.",0
;+getaroom(whenonfire)
.byte34,"Board of Peasant Health says I can't serve any folk that's on fire. Nothing personal. Well, I mean, I don't like you much anyway.",34,0
.byte"Oh great! Now you can't see a thing and your head is covered in highly flammable horse grease. You better get out of here before that disgusting old man comes back.",0
;+getbell(aftergettingaroom)
.byte"You can't. It looks like it's been somehow olded to the desk.",0
;+getcandle(atnight)
.byte"It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.",0
;+getgrease(atnight,alreadyhaveit)
.byte"You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.",0
;+getoldmanrub(intheinn??when)
.byte"You disgust me.",0
;+getpaper
.byte"Naw, it might be important",13
.byte"to that wrinkly old loon.",0
;+getpainting;WIKIISWRONG
.byte"Weird. It's actually just",13
.byte"painted right onto the",13
.byte"wall. Like, the frame and",13
.byte"everything.",0
;+getpot(ifyoualreadyhaveit)
.byte"You already have a nice greasy swab of it on the corner of your hood.",0
;+getrug
.byte"You're not touching that",13
.byte"thing. Too many",13
.byte"questionable stains on it.",0
;+(exitinginnwithpotonhead)
.byte"Phew! You discard the big black pot and wipe the horse grease from your eyes. The hood of your robe is still covered in highly flammable horse grease, though.",0
;+askaboutfire
.byte34,"I've always preferred",13
.byte"being on fire at night.",13
.byte"Looks prettier and keeps",13
.byte"the butterflies away.",34,0
;+askaboutnakedned
.byte34,"He used to be such a nice,",13
.byte"clothed young man. Wonder",13
.byte"what he's done with all his",13
.byte"old clothes?",34,0
;+askaboutrobe
.byte34,"I wear my robe hood-down",13
.byte"so it's easier to trim my",13
.byte"ear hairs. If you need a",13
.byte"robe, maybe try someone",13
.byte"that's not using theirs.",34,0
;+askaboutsmell
.byte34,"Well, if you don't stink,",13
.byte"maybe find something that",13
.byte"does and wear it. Like a",13
.byte"dead carcass or summat.",34,0
;+askabouttrogdor
.byte34,"Are you talking about that",13
.byte"young green boy that lives",13
.byte"up the street? He's always",13
.byte"tearing my roof off and",13
.byte"eating my customers.",34,0
;+askabout(unknown)
.byte34,"I don't know nothing about",13
.byte"no whatever you just said.",34,0
;+ringbell
.byte"Instead of ringing or",13
.byte"dinging, it just goes",13
.byte"'DUNG.'",0
;+lightcandle(atnight)
.byte"It seems like you should be able to do that, doesn't it? Sorry. No dice.",0
;+opendoor(beforegettingroom)
.byte34,"That's the pantry,",34," says",13
.byte"the Innkeeper. ",34,"Employees",13
.byte"only.",34,0
;+sleep/sleeponbed(manisthere)
.byte"You probably want to talk",13
.byte"to that stinky old guy over",13
.byte"there about that.",0
;+getdoing-sproings
.byte"That's the worst thing",13
.byte"anyone has ever tried to",13
.byte"type in this game. Ever.",0
;+getpillow
.byte"Not a chance. There's even",13
.byte"more questionable stains",13
.byte"on that pillow than there",13
.byte"are on that rug.",0
;+lookman
.byte"He's an older peasant with",13
.byte"big cotton swabs stuffed up",13
.byte"his nose. Oh wait. Those",13
.byte"are nose hairs. Grody.",0
;+lookpainting
.byte"It's a painting of dogs",13
.byte"playing 'Magic: The",13
.byte"Nerdening.'",0
;+lookpaper
.byte"It says, ",34,"Note to self:",13
.byte"Wave arms wildly!",34,0
;+lookpillow
.byte"If you sleep in that bed,",13
.byte"you're NOT putting your",13
.byte"head on that nasty pillow.",0
;+lookpot(aftergettingaroom)
.byte"It's full of horse grease. I guess that sounds useful.",0
;+lookrug
.byte"Maybe that used to be a",13
.byte"magic carpet. But it's sure",13
.byte"a cat pee-stained carpet",13
.byte"now.",0
;+lookbed
.byte"Is that just a fitted sheet",13
.byte"over a slab of concrete?",0
;+lookbell
.byte"Tis broked.",0
;+lookcandle(aftergettingaroom)
.byte"That candle's not at all on fire.",0
;+lookdesk(manthere)
.byte"There's a broken bell and",13
.byte"a piece of parchment on",13
.byte"there. And some crazy old",13
.byte"guy behind it.",0
;+lookdesk(night?)
.byte"There's a broken bell and",13
.byte"a piece of parchment on",13
.byte"there.",0
;===================================
;InsideMysterious(Ned's)Cottage
;===================================
;+look
.byte"This place could use some serious sprucing of the 'up' variety. There's a dresser over there and a broom kind of silhouetted all mysterious like.",0
;+lookbroom
.byte"The broom is all black and artistic, implying perhaps that it is closer to the viewer's eye but unlit to avoid emphasis.",0
;+lookdrawer/dresser(closed)
.byte"This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray.",0
.byte"There is an especially enticing top drawer that is currently closed.",0
;+lookdrawer/dresser(open)
.byte"This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray.",0
.byte"There is a drawer open and there are some brown lumpy clothes in it.",0
;+lookdrawer/dresser(afterrobe)
.byte"This dresser needs a good wipe down with new Indenture(tm), the dust busting miracle spray.",0
.byte"There is a drawer open, but it's empty.",0
;+opendrawer(it'sclosed,nottaken)
.byte"There's a vintage peasant robe in there! Just like grampa used to wear.",0
;+opendrawer(it'sopen)
.byte"Yeah, totally! Except it's already open you moron.",0
;+opendrawer(aftergettingrobeandclosing)
.byte"You already closed it, which was nice, and so we gave you some points. Let sleeping drawers lie.",0
.byte"Aww, how thoughtful and boring of you. Break into this peasant's home, steal his clothes, but remember to tidy up after yourself. You're a real saint.",0
;+closedrawer(w/otakingrobe)
.byte"Right, right. Wouldn't want to leave the robes out where any old guy trying to beat an adventure game could take them.",0
;+closedrawer(alreadyclosed)
.byte"A riddle: What can be closed that is already closed? (hint: not this drawer)",0
.byte"You still remember the time when you took them. Oh, the times have changed ... but the robes?",0
;+get/takerobe(drawerclosed)
.byte"You reach into the closed drawer and nearly break your hand slamming it. Just like a bird on a pane of glass minus the blamelessness.",0
;+get/takedrawer/dresser
.byte"You get a hernia from lifting it. -2 Movement points, -10 Constitution. Don't do that again.",0
;+get/takebroom
.byte"No, no. The broom is in the foreground and you can't take things from the foreground. You don't see me all typing 'get browser window', do you?",0