365 lines
11 KiB
PHP
365 lines
11 KiB
PHP
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;===============
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; That Hay Bale
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;===============
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; After jumping in the haystack, go to any screen except Jhonka
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.byte "Drat. The winds are heavy on all but a couple of key screens... looks like you're no longer in stealth mode.",0
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; + look
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.byte "Well, there's that big bale",13
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.byte "of hay over there.",0
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; + look hay
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.byte "It reminds you of a warm,",13
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.byte "safe place where as a child",13
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.byte "you'd hide.",0
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; + look in hay
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.byte "You search and search",13
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.byte "through the haystack.",13
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.byte "Nope. No needles.",0
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; + look tree
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.byte "It's Arbor Day, Charlie",13
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.byte "Brown!",0
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; + look fence (merge with others?)
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.byte "A standard peasant fence.",13
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.byte "Trogdor makes milk's meat",13
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.byte "outta these things.",0
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; + enter hay / jump in hay / hide in hay (not muddy)
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.byte "Not right now, man. You're",13
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.byte "feeling fairly clean given",13
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.byte "you just bathed 3",13
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.byte "fortnights ago.",0
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; + enter hay / jump in hay (muddy but not nearby)
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.byte "Who do you think you are, MJ? Try from a little closer.",0
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; + enter hay / jump into hay
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.byte "You've not known much better than a roll in the hay alone.",0
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.byte "You leap in the hay like a two years old boy. Uh oh. The hay sticks to your muddy body. You're a walking hay bale! Just like that one guy from that one show!",0
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; + hug tree (walks to it)
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.byte "To every thing, turn, turn,",13
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.byte "turn. There is a season,",13
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.byte "turn, turn, turn.",0
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; + get hay
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.byte "Who do you think you are?",13
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.byte "Some kind of Thy",13
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.byte "Dungeonman? You don't need",13
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.byte "any hay.",0
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;=============
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; Mud Puddle
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;=============
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; + (walk into puddle when raining)
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.byte "Now you've done it! You're covered in sticky, albeit fine smelling, mud. Your ",34,"Scalding Lake",34," T-shirt is all soiled, too. You just washed it last harvest!",0
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; + look (dry)
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.byte "There's a dried out mud",13
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.byte "puddle. It's all caked and",13
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.byte "cracked like the kind",13
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.byte "rock stars are always",13
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.byte "standing on.",0
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; + look (wet)
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.byte "Not much to see. 'Sides that big mud puddle.",0
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; + get / look rock
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.byte "That rock's not doin' a",13
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.byte "whole lot for me.",0
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; + get mud (when it's wet, before you fall in)
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.byte "You can't get the mud so much. More like the mud'll get you.",0
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; + get mud (when it's wet, after you fall in)
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.byte "You've already gotten an heapin' helpin' all up on yo'self.",0
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;===============
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; Archery Range
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;===============
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; + look
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.byte "You've come across some",13
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.byte "kind of shooting gallery.",13
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.byte "There's a depressed",13
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.byte "looking archer at the desk",13
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.byte "there.",0
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; + look archer (before speaking to Mendelev)
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.byte "He looks depressed. He",13
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.byte "keeps sighing all",13
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.byte "obviously like he wants you",13
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.byte "to ask about it.",0
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; + look archer (before saying haldo to Dongolev)
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.byte "He looks depressed. Jeez, who invited the fun sponge?",0
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; + look archer(s)/(anything not covered elsewhere) (after saying haldo to Dongolev)
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.byte "You've come across some kind of shooting gallery. A pair of twin brothers seem to be running the place.",0
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; + look target
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.byte "Hey, they had those same",13
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.byte "targets at Peasant Scout",13
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.byte "Camp!",0
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; + look desk
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.byte "It says 'archery' on it. My",13
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.byte "wife's drunk.",0
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; POINTS +2
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; + talk man (you walk over) [ note, did verify the quotes here]
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.byte 34,"Oh, hi. I'm Mendelev,",34,13
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.byte "says the archer. ",34,"I used to",13
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.byte "run a shooting range here",13
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.byte "with my brother Dongolev.",13
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.byte "But we don't talk so much",13
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.byte "anymore. I haven't seen him",13
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.byte "in a Jhonka's age. If you",13
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.byte "ever run into him, tell him",13
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.byte "I said 'haldo'.",0
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.byte 34,"You mean 'hello,'",34," you",13
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.byte "ask?",0
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.byte 34,"Oh, um. No. Shut up. I",13
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.byte "said 'haldo' and I meant",13
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.byte "'haldo.' Tell him I said",13
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.byte "'haldo.'",34,0
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; + give super trinket
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.byte 34,"That'll work,",34," says Mendelev. Just hit 3 bullseyes and you win the SuperTime FunBow TM!",0
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.byte "The ARROW KEYS aim left and right and the SPACE BAR operates the bow. You'll need to press it a couple of times to get a nice shot off but we don't give lessons so you're on your own.",0
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; (get [X]=3-5 bullseyes)
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.byte 34,"Nice shootin! [X] hits.",34," Says Mendelev. ",34,"Here's your prize!",34," You got the SuperTime FunBow TM! We don't sell ammo, so you'll have to find your own arrows for it.",0
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; + ask about fire (all ask abouts m&d must both be there)
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.byte 34,"Trogdor just burned down some idiot peasant's cottage. You should ask him,",34," says Mendelev. / ",34,"Yeah, this jerk goes on vacation to some prancey lake and...",34," / They see you staring daggers at them and turn bright red. / ",34,"Oh. Nevermind,",34," says Dongolev. ",34,"Um, yeah. What's a fire?",34," adds Mendelwhatever.",0
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; + ask about naked ned
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.byte "That guy creeps us out. In fact, shut up about him.",0
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; + ask about robe
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.byte "We wouldn't know. We only wear archer clothes. You just can't arch real well in a robe, y'know?",0
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; + ask about smell
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.byte "That giant pig running around sure smells bad. Maybe talk to him.",0
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; + ask about trogdor
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.byte 34,"Oh man, there was this one time when I came THIS close to having Trogdor ARROWED!",34," says Dongolev. / ",34,"Hey, shut up! That was me!",34," interrupts Mendelev, ",34,"YOU almost arrowed that blue baby!",34," says Dongolev. / ",34,"Did not!",34," / ",34,"Did so!",34," / ",34,"Did not!",34," / (You see where this is going.)",0
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; + ask about (unknown)
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.byte "Either we don't know anything about that, or you're real boring.",0
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; + haldo (after Dongolev has returned)
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.byte "HALDO!!",0
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; + play game (before saying haldo to Dongolev)
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.byte "The gallery's not open and",13
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.byte "you got no bow or arrows,",13
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.byte "Cupid.",0
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; + get/take/steal target
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.byte "No. Those will fall on you",13
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.byte "and more than likely kill",13
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.byte "you.",0
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; + get/take/steal arrow
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.byte "They have ",34,"RANGE",34," printed",13
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.byte "on them, so it would be",13
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.byte "kind of embarrassing to have",13
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.byte "to shoot around with them.",13
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.byte "Also, that guy over there",13
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.byte "is giving you the evil eye.",0
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; + talk (while away from or behind the desk)
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.byte "Why don't you saddle up to the front of the table there, cowboy?",0
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; + talk (after talking to him before) NOT IN WIKI
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.byte 34,"Tell my bro I said 'haldo'",13
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.byte "if you see him,",34," he says",13
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.byte "and goes back to pouting.",0
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; + talk (after beating the minigame)
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.byte 34,"Go away!",34," says Dongolev. ",34,"We're arguing about who's hotter,",34," adds Mendelev.",0
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;=================
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; River and Stone
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;=================
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; + look
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.byte "Not much to see. River's",13
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.byte "got a rock in it.",0
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; + look water
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.byte "Got a rock in it.",0
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; + look rock
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.byte "The ages have worn this",13
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.byte "rock down. It is a rock of",13
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.byte "ages. Still a-rollin.",0
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; + swim river/water
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.byte "Peasants can't swim. Like,",13
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.byte "it's illegal.",0
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; + get/take/steal rock
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.byte "For what? Now you're just",13
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.byte "making up puzzles to solve.",0
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;========================
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; Mountain Pass / Knight
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;========================
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; + look
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pass_look_message:
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.byte "You've reached the",13
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.byte "mountain pass that leads to",13
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.byte "Trogdor's lair. A royal",13
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.byte "knight blocks the entrance.",0
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; + look knight/man/dude/guy
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knight_look_message:
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.byte "He looks way cooler than",13
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.byte "you.",0
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; + look sign
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sign_look_message:
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.byte "What that sign there? That",13
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.byte "sign says 'Trogdor.'",0
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; + look trogdor
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trogdor_look_message:
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.byte "I know it's labeled",13
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.byte "'Trogdor,' but it's really",13
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.byte "just a sign, silly. I mean,",13
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.byte "attack it if you want...",0
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; + attack sign / break sign
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attack_sign_message:
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.byte "I was being facetious, Mr.",13
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.byte "Smarty-short-pants. No",13
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.byte "sign attacking for you.",0
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; + talk knight (beginning, first try)
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.byte "You explain your situation",13
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.byte "to the knight. That Trogdor",13
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.byte "burninated your cottage",13
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.byte "and you've sworn revenge.",13
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.byte "You ask for passage up the",13
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.byte "mountain to settle your",13
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.byte "score.",13
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.byte "(Press RETURN to advance",13
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.byte "through conversations)",0
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.byte 34,"Hang on there,",13
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.byte "Trogdorkilla,",34," says the",13
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.byte "knight. ",34,"I can only allow",13
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.byte "actual peasants up the",13
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.byte "mountain pass to face",13
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.byte "Trogdor. And you CLEARLY",13
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.byte "are not one.",34,0
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; + talk (again) picks up here
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.byte 34,"Look, Dragonheart...",34,0
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.byte 34,"You don't STINK like a",0
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.byte " peasant.",34,0
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.byte 34,"You don't DRESS like a",13
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.byte "peasant.",34,0
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.byte 34,"And you're definitely not",13
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.byte "ON FIRE like a peasant.",34,0
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.byte "Once you're those 3",13
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.byte "things, come back and maybe",13
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.byte "we can talk.",34,0
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; only first time through
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.byte "Be sure to LOOK around",13
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.byte "lots. TALK to everyone you",13
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.byte "see and ASK ABOUT stuff.",13
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.byte "Type HELP if you get",13
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.byte "confused and INVENTORY to",13
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.byte "see your worldly stuff.",13
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.byte "Type SAVE or LOAD to save",13
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.byte "or load your game. Duh.",0
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; + talk knight (with kerrek's belt)
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.byte "Frankly, Matthew Broderick, you sure stink like a peasant. But you still don't DRESS like a peasant and you're not ON FIRE like a peasant.",0
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; + talk knight (with ned's robe, on fire or not)
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.byte "My dear Adso, you are dressed well but you don't STINK and you're not ON FIRE. Let us instead exercise our brains and try to solve this tantalizing conundrum.",0
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; + talk knight (after acquiring Kerrek's belt and Naked Ned's robe)
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.byte "Almost there, Dirk the Daring. You stink like a peasant and you dress like one too. But you're clearly still not ON FIRE.",0
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; + talk knight (after have all three)
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.byte "Lookin good, Mr. Peasant. Good luck with ol' Beefy Arm up there.",0
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.byte "This is it! You can finally get revenge on Trogdor! Nice work so far, stupid!",0
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.byte "Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.",0
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.byte "Disk read error. Please insert floppy disk 2 into Drive B and press enter.",0
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; + ask about fire
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.byte 34,"Well, whenever I see",13
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.byte "peasants, they tend to be",13
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.byte "on fire. So get yourself on",13
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.byte "fire. I hear horse grease",13
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.byte "gives a nice, controlled",13
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.byte "burn.",34,0
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; + ask about Jhonka
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.byte 34,"Since the Kerrek showed",13
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.byte "up, we don't see the Jhonka",13
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.byte "so much anymore. He lives",13
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.byte "in that little cave over in",13
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.byte "west Peasantry.",34,0
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; + ask about Kerrek
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.byte 34,"I call him Big Stinky.",13
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.byte "He's slow and stupid, but",13
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.byte "he'll pound you into milks",13
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.byte "meat without a second",13
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.byte "thought.",34,0
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; + ask about naked ned
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.byte 34,"That weirdo used to live",13
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.byte "over in west Peasantry but",13
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.byte "now I guess he just prances",13
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.byte "around the forest in his",13
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.byte "birthday suit.",34,0
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; + ask about robe
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.byte 34,"Peasants wear those brown",13
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.byte "robes. You know, with the",13
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.byte "rope around the waist. Get",13
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.byte "yourself one of those.",34,0
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; + ask about smell
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.byte 34,"I never met a peasant that",13
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.byte "didn't stink. If you wanna",13
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.byte "smell bad, get the Kerrek",13
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.byte "involved. That thing",13
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.byte "reeks!",34,0
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; + ask about trogdor
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.byte 34,"If I had a gold coin for",13
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.byte "every whining peasant's",13
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.byte "cottage that freaking",13
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.byte "dragon burninated, I'd be",13
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.byte "rich as a jhonka.",0
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; + ask about (unknown)
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.byte 34,"I don't know anything",13
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.byte "about that, short pants.",34,0
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